Death Penalty

My respect for life, all life, is being challenged. I want to be opposed to the death penalty, but in the case of the father who left his child in a hot car to die I'm loosing the battle with myself, because it appears that he may have done it on purpose. It also looks like his wife was in on it as well. I am at a loss here. I want to remain on the higher ground, I want to be okay with life in prison for them. But ... after the horrific thing they did, to an innocent child ... my emotions want to see them locked in a car in the heat of the summer for hours, until they die as that poor little boy died. I feel guilty for wanting that. I know that I shouldn't, I know that life, even the life of such vile humans as these two are, has more meaning than that. But in this case ... I just can't get past the horrible way that baby died.

Judging others.

I've recently been reminded that any of us could easily judge someone else without knowing the whole story. People on both sides of an issue do it. It's pretty easy actually. Someone posts something on Facebook that you disagree with, so you comment about how you see the issue. You think you know the thought process behind the post, and so you decide that the person posting the offending thing must be some horrible kind of person. The person who posted also easily can decide what it is you are saying and judge you based on what they THINK you think/feel/know/or want when it comes to this subject.

This happened to me the other day. Someone said something about abortion and how she wouldn't be able to have a relationship with a man who agreed to an ex girlfriend having an abortion. She said that someone who had an abortion or someone who allowed one to happen would be bad parents and should never have children. She didn't know that I had to have a medically necessary abortion years ago. But she would have judged me a bad parent because of it. Someone else judged her and said some hurtful things, not knowing that she had recently had a miscarriage of a much desired baby. I can understand that too, because when I was trying to conceive my second child I became pregnant fairly quickly after stopping the pill. I didn't tell anyone, not even the father. Which turned out to be a good decision because a couple of weeks after I had the positive pregnancy test, I had a miscarriage. It was early enough that I was able to pass it off as a heavy, more painful than ever, period. I was devastated. I've never felt so much emotional pain in my whole life. So I understand her pain and where she is coming from with some of what she said. But, it hurts that she would think that I'm a bad parent, that I never should have had children, because of a medical decision.

Just to be clear, I don't think that abortion is a good choice, but sometimes it's the best choice. I wish that every child that was conceived was wanted and that there never was any reason to have an abortion. Life isn't like that now, unfortunately.

There are many other things we judge each other about. I'm working hard not to judge anyone any more. I don't know their story. I don't know what led them to be the kind of person they are, or to do the things they do. I need to not worry so much about that kind of thing when it comes to others. I can worry about their safety or their finances or other things like that, without judging them. It's hard, I think humans are hard wired to judge, to come to a conclusion about someone based on a few moments, or a few details. I want to stop doing that. I'm trying very hard, I fail often, but I am making progress.

Forgiveness or rather, not forgiveness.

I am having trouble keeping my promise to myself. I promised to not hate another person, to not wish someone dead or hurt. I think I did okay when Frank Phelps died. But today I read about a man, a Father, who beat his 6 week old daughter bad enough to break her arm and put her in the freezer when she wouldn't stop crying. All I can think of is that he should be put in a freezer, with a broken arm wearing only a diaper, so he can feel what his child felt. Perhaps give him some drugs so that he doesn't really understand what is happening to him, at least for the first hour or so. Then let him regain his mental abilities and fully understand what he did to his poor little baby. Then lock him up until his daughter is at least 21, so that she can legally take care of herself and stay away from him without depending on someone else to protect her.

I guess it's a good thing she is so young. She probably won't remember any of it. The article didn't mention if she will have lasting problems because of any of this, but hopefully she will grow up just fine and won't have any lingering difficulties to deal with.

I want to forgive and turn it all over to God. But I can't stop thinking that someone should hurt him like he hurt his child. I want to be able to have only compassion for all people, but I can't when I'm dealing with people like that. I'll keep trying, maybe someday I'll be able to do that.

More thoughts on life and religion.

So, it's Christmas which leads me to think about God and Jesus and what I believe. I've been led to believe that Love, Kindness, and trying not to force my beliefs on other people is the right thing. Jesus taught that we are to love each other. Living a life that centers itself around loving and caring for other people reduces the amount of negative feeling I have.

I think that everyone has the right to believe whatever they want to believe. They can say whatever they want to say. I just wish that everyone would think just a bit more before they say some things. I wish that people would not try to make other people do what they think is right based on their religion. The USA is not supposed to be a Government guided by religion. Each of us should take our own religious beliefs, or lack of religious belief, into account when deciding what each of us should do, but not when deciding what everyone else must do. Know what I mean?

Homosexuality and Same Sex Marriage for example. I fully support any one's right to the religious belief that same sex relationships are sinful, I don't support the idea however. So if it is a sin in your belief system and you are trying to avoid sinning, then don't be in that kind of relationship. You can only be responsible for your own sins, and shouldn't dictate to others about their sins.

I know that the Bible says that some things are sins. But it also says that the laws are for believers. You can teach others, you can guide others, but the biblical laws that Christians are supposed to live by are laws for Christians. So they should not be forced on other people. I also think that the Bible was never meant to be a static book. I think it was meant to grow and shift depending on the times and the kind of community, country, and world you are living in. For example: "Go forth and multiply" isn't really very important these days. There are plenty of people, and I don't think we need to make more Christians, convert them maybe but making new ones by having dozens of children isn't needed any more. One or two children per family would help keep the population down and help save our resources. I don't mind families that have more children than that, it's their choice and if they can take care of them all I think they should do what they feel is best. An other example would be: "Go into the world and proclaim the gospel to every nation" isn't important any more, since I think that almost all people have at least heard of Jesus and Christianity, it isn't like it was in the days when Christianity was new. It also isn't easy to find clothing that doesn't have mixed fibers. The times have changed, and I believe that the Bible was meant to change with it.

I may be wrong. But I'd rather err on the side of loving others than on the side of telling them what to do. I think that Jesus would like my stance, I

What if they are wrong?

I've read a couple of articles lately on a blog by a single Dad. It's called "Single Dad Laughing". These posts were about love. One of them is titled "I'm Christian unless you are gay". It is about how people who say they are Christian don't act very Christian when they are confronted by someone who is part of a group the think are wrong, sinners, or evil. It could be Gay people, it could be Homeless people, but these so called Christians respond to them with hate. Not Love. They do not do what Jesus and God have told them to do, which is to love everyone. They condemn them, they wish bad things for them, they treat them with disgust or out right hate.

So I was thinking about God, and my relationship with God. I try to love everyone, I'm not very good at it though. I find it hard to love people who discriminate against others for any reason. I need to work on that. Loving others does not mean bringing the into your home, it doesn't mean that you have to stop and hug everyone. But I'm not sure how to love someone who is dangerous to me or to my kids. People who would hurt us because I believe different than they do. Child molesters, murderers, people who seem to be nearly totally evil. So I need to work on that.

And then I thought "What if it isn't God that these hate filled people are being led by but an evil force?" I'm not sure if I believe in the "devil" or "Satan", but I do know that there is an evil force in the world. What if all the hate, disgust, discrimination, and other negative behavior is Evil leading otherwise good people into sin? I've heard some of them say that  _____ is just Satan confusing you, or leading you astray. What if they are wrong and THEY are the ones being lead astray?

I can only do what I feel is what God would want me to do. All I can do is keep trying to spread Love where ever and when ever I can. I can try to show only love to people who are showing only hate. It will be hard, I don't know if I can do it. But I can try with all my heart, and I think that will be good enough.

Cooking from scratch and finding good recipes for homemade "packaged foods".

I'm looking for something I can make for dinner that I can use homemade pasta in. I now have a pasta machine, and I can't wait to use it. I just have to discover a good pasta dish that I can make which will highlight the homemade pasta. I'll try to post pictures if I find something, and if it turns out good. LOL

I like cooking from scratch, with as little packaged foods as possible. I've made homemade mac and cheese, but the kids don't like it. I want to find a way to make rice-a-roni too because the kids like it with some chicken, or beef or pork cut up in it, throw in a few veggies and it's a good meal. Well it will be when I figure out how to make it without all the salt and sugar boxed foods tend to have. I'm trying to do more natural foods because children, especially those with special needs, are more sensitive to the chemicals and modified foods. I don't think either of our kids have any problems with food, but  who knows? So, anyway, I'm looking for homemade recipes of the convenience type foods kids seem to love so much. I'm going to use real sugar, butter not margarine, whole milk, cream, fresh vegetables and meats whenever possible, and frozen or home canned fruits and vegetables as much as I need to. Dried foods would be good too, if I dry them myself. I need to get a dehydrator soon, the kids like dried apples, cherries, and blue berries. I can get those easily around here. I'd like to try drying some veggies too, maybe broccoli and peppers for a start.

I haven't had much contact with anyone in the family except for my Mom since we all left her place after her birthday. I play Words with Friends with my youngest brother sometimes. And I keep up with what my brother in California and his family are doing because of Facebook. It makes me a little sad, because I love my family so much, but we are not very good at keeping in contact. Besides I know that the California part of the family is VERY conservative, fundamental Christian  and think I'm VERY liberal and not Christian at all. They are some of the people I mentioned in another post about religion, they are some of the ones who think they know what I believe but probably don't. Another one would be my niece, I doubt that she has a real idea of my political or religious standing. It's okay though. I still love all of them no matter what.

Talking to people about science and religion.

I need to figure out how to explain to someone who claims that evolution is just a theory, and not a fact, that the use of theory in science is different than they use of theory in common language. Should I ask if they believe in gravity? Because it's still The Gravitational Theory, not The Gravitational Fact. But ... I don't know if that would really tell them anything, of it would make them angry. Some of these people are people I love and care about, so I don't want to make them angry with me. Besides I agree with them about creationism, at least in part. Because like I said yesterday God created our soul in his image, out bodies evolved, with divine assistance or without but that doesn't negate the fact that evolution exists and you can watch it happen among creatures with a shorter life span than ours.

Some of these people said something different last year, than they do today. Especially where it involves either evolution or gay marriage. Last year both were okay, gay marriage wasn't for them but it didn't matter if anyone else did it. Now both are wrong. Evolution, I already discussed in the previous paragraph. Gay marriage is now wrong because they think that God says that being gay is wrong. This is too bad, because God loves all of us the same. Straight as well as homosexual. The Bible says that being gay is wrong, but it was written by men, and edited by men, and translated by men, some of those men had an agenda in what they were doing. If God made us all, and God is perfect, and God can not make mistakes, then God made homosexuals just as he made everyone else, and since he is perfect he intended them to be homosexual. Who are we to second guess God?

 I also have a problem with people who think that they can do God's job. By that I mean that they think that they can judge other humans and decide which will go to heaven and which will not.

Thought about religion, family, and politics.

I find it interesting that people I've never really spoken to about my religious and political views think they know how I feel or what I believe. The worst offenders, if that is what they can be called, are family members. I don't speak to most of them about these things, because my Dad prefers to keep those kinds of discussions out of family gatherings. My brothers think they know that I'm a non-Christian Liberal, because I think that people should be able to make their own choices about their lives. They should be able to love who they want and worship how they want. I also think that religion should stay out of schools, and other government things. Our laws should not be based on a religious idea.

To me religion is very personal. I don't want religion taught in schools, because I want to teach my kids the way I believe not the way someone else believes. I don't understand people who have a problem with creationism NOT being taught in school. Are their beliefs so weak that they can't teach their own children about it themselves? Or go to a church that will teach it in Sunday School? Why don't they put their children in a religious school? I've heard it's expensive, I wonder if they have ever questioned why that is?

Also, I don't think that evolution and creationism are mutually exclusive. See, the God I know created us in His image. (I'm using the male pronouns because we don't have any that express the great wonder that is God without assigning gender.) However, God did not create our body, he created our soul. Our body was created through evolution. I also know that God does not make mistakes, so there must be a reason that there are and always have been homosexual people in the world. I don't think that the Bible is the literal word of God, it is a book with some wonderful stories to help guide us through life. It was written by men, perhaps inspired by God, to help others understand God. It was written by MEN, who are not perfect. To help others to understand God, who is so beyond our understanding that we will never understand even 1/100,000,000 of what God is.

The God I know loves ALL of his children, much like any other parent loves their children. He does not hate any of us. How could a loving parent hate one of their children? Do we disappoint him? Probably. Do we get another chance? Definitely. Will we be punished for eternity if we don't follow all the rules? No. I also believe that we have other lives in which to learn, and to take our punishment for misdeeds. The God I know isn't afraid of the free will he gave us, God isn't insulted if we don't know the correct name to use when we pray. God knows your heart, and if you are a good person God knows that and is happy about it. God is everywhere, and knows everything, but God does not interfere with our lives. God doesn't heal some people while letting others die. God doesn't save one family while killing another. It all happens for a reason, a reason we might never understand, a reason we had input into and a choice to be there or not.

Politically, I am kind of liberal. I want women's health to be their choice. I want legally consenting adults to be able to marry the person they love. I think that multi-partner marriage should be legal as well. Maybe the government should stay out of marriage all together? Maybe there should be a legal connection that gives us the "rights and responsibilities", the benefits of what is now marriage, while leaving the ceremonial, the religious, the ... emotional aspects to the individuals to deal with. Churches should not have to preform marriages they don't approve of, but they should not be able to stop people from making that legal connection, or from finding another church that will preform their marriage ceremony.

Okay, well that is enough of that. At least for now. If you are still reading, feel free to comment about anything I've said. Try not to condemn me to hell or spew a lot of hate toward me. But I welcome clear, polite, debate. Thank you.