A tail of two broken ribs.

The main thing on my mind lately is, of course, my ribs. Everything I do hurts at least a little bit. But things are getting better, the pulled muscles and stressed tendons are healing well so that most of the remaining pain is because of my ribs.

I've been trying to remember how it happened, but the details are kind of fuzzy. It was Monday the 7th of February. Aidan had gone up the stairs for the hundredth time, so I went up to get him. I had him around the middle with my left arm, he was facing away from me, the hand rail was on the left side. I felt myself start to fall. I must have tried to catch myself because the fingers of my right had some damage. I almost stopped us from falling, but couldn't quite do it. I let Aidan slip down to the last couple of steps. And then I continued to fall. I think I landed on a large monitor. I don't remember landing, or rolling to my back. I couldn't breath, and all I could think of was Aidan, was he hurt? Of course he was fine, not a bump or bruise on him.

My Mom, who used to be a CNA and a massage therapist, was there and started to check me out. Snowanna was a little panicked and asked if she should call an ambulance. David took Aidan to the other room and kept him busy while I tried to make my lungs work again. The second thing Snowanna asked me was, "Did you break a finger nail?" (I got my first acrylic nails on the 5th) Funny enough, the second thing Howard asked me, once he found out I was OK was also "Did you break a nail?" Mom took Aidan and me up to Hood River with her that night. The next day I felt really bad so Mom took me to the hospital, where I had ex-rays that showed my broken ribs. I wasn't thinking too well, and didn't look at them. I'm not sure which ones are broken. I do know, because of where it hurts the most, that they are in the upper part and I think the breaks are under my arm toward the front. Oh yeah, it's my right side, and that causes a lot of trouble because I'm very right handed. Every move I make, every thing I pick up, every time I breath deeply it hurts. Coughing is bad, but sneezing is worse. It's been 2 weeks, the Doctor says it will be about 6 weeks before I'm back to normal.

Howard is being very nice and helpful. Aidan is taking advantage of the fact that I'm not moving very fast. LOL He's 2 now and this just gives him a little edge. He is really a good boy and he isn't really misbehaving all that much, just pushing the limits a little bit. If all things keep going as they are right now we will be fine.

I'm home.

My visit to Oregon was very nice. The wedding was beautiful, I saw family and friends that I haven't seen in awhile. I enjoyed visiting with my Mom and Dad, I stayed with them for about a week. We all loved our visit with Snowanna and David and DJ. I lost some of the phone numbers of people I really wanted to see, Jennifer and Pikes being the main concern. And then instead of having the time to look for them and find them I fell down the stairs and broke 2 ribs. So I spent most of my visit in pain and trying not to move too much.

Jennifer: I'm sorry I never got around to calling you my dear friend, I really did want to see you. I've missed you so much! I hope you understand.

I probably won't be posting much for the next few weeks. Typing is kind of painful. But I'll Try to post once in awhile.

Monday positives

Well, there is only one positive for today, mainly because I don't have much time. We are leaving today for Oregon. Mark, my youngest brother, is getting married on February 6th. I am hoping that we will be able to stay for a little while and visit with my family and friends. So you probably won't hear from me until after the 14th. I'd like to spend Aidan's birthday with my family. Take care everyone.

PBS and Margaret Spellings.

I was very disappointed that PBS is backing down. Have you heard about the kids program they have called "Post Cards from Buster"? It's an animated show about a bunny who travels around the country with his airline pilot Dad visiting with families along the way. In one episode he visits Vermont, where he meets two same sex families. I hear that they are not going to distribute this episode because "Margaret Spellings, the new secretary of the U.S. Department of Education, criticized the episode as inappropriate for children." I had hoped that PBS would be able to stand up for all American Families and not bow to oppression. Perhaps the threat of the loss of some funding, although just the amount of money that one episode cost, was enough to make them back down.

Mommy's little Sailor boy. 

Aidan and Buddy. 

My boy. 

A Monday Positive and a Monday Negative.

I went to the Doctor this morning. All the blood work came out really good. She said that except for my weight I'm very healthy. Blood sugar and cholesterol levels are VERY good according to her. She said that she isn't worried about the Celebrex, because there hasn't been enough research and the main genetic factors I need to worry about have to do with clots and cholesterol and Celebrex actually thins the blood a little. As for the dizziness, she just wants me to keep track and see if it's related to a cold or sinus problem or perhaps the ... I don't remember how to spell it, meniers disease or something like that. There isn't much that can be done about it anyway. She and the Health Educator, Katherine, are ok with my progress even though I haven't lost any weight in the last month, I also didn't gain any weight either.

Last night Aidan decided to get Howard's cup out of the microwave. I was on the phone, and Howard had to run to the bathroom, when the microwave beeped. A few seconds later I heard Aidan yelling. He had climbed up onto the ice chest that is in front of the table the microwave is on and taken the cup of hot water out. In the process of climbing down with it he spilled it on his right arm at the elbow. He had a slight scald, it was red for a few minutes. There are still some patches that are pinkish and one area that looks like if might blister, but he doesn't seem to be in pain. He keeps doing everything that he always does. The only time it seemed to hurt was when I grabbed his arm to keep him from falling. I am so glad that he is ok. It was scary.

This and that.

For those of you who are on our Friends and Family message board, I want to apologize to you for the inappropriate message Howard's Mom posted. She thinks she is the Queen of the guilt trip, but in reality she is more of a Drama Queen. I've asked her not to post such things there again.

Aidan is saying more words now. He says something that sound close to "I Love you" when I say "I love you" to him. He is trying to make the sign for I love you. I wish I could give you a clear description of it, but today my mind seems to want to take the long way around everything.

He covers his mouth with his hand and says "Skoos me" whenever I burp. Because I do that. He hasn't connected that when he burps he should do it too.

I wish Buddy would eat more. He is looking really skinny. We give him plenty of food, and he even has an extra bowl where it's harder for the neighbor dogs to get to, but he doesn't eat it. I don't know what to do. On the other hand Miss Kitty is getting pretty fat. I thought she might be pregnant, but I held her last night and it's all just chubbiness, her legs and chest are also getting fatter, not just her tummy. I didn't feel any babies when I was petting/squeezing her belly, I hope that she will hold off on her first heat so that I can get the money to get her fixed. I don't want to add to the unwanted cat population.

I'll see the Doctor and the Health Educator on Monday. I'll talk to the Doctor about the Celebrex, because my family has a history of heart problems. We will also discuss the blood test results and other health questions I have for her. I'll talk to the Health Educator about what I've done to adjust my eating habits, and what kinds of exorcise I've been doing, or not doing. I've worked on reducing my portion sizes, partly by using smaller plates and by cooking less food at any given meal. I've walked some and danced some, but not enough. Probably only about 20 minutes a week on average. I need to up that to closer to 80 minutes a week. But I do have a plan, so I've got a good start. It's going to take a lot of time, to work up to the right eating and exorcise habits, but I'm determined to do it.

Last night my left leg slipped out from under me and I fell hard on right hip and left arm. I almost fell on top of Aidan. I don't know what caused me to slip. My left arm hurts, that achey feeling just before a muscle cramp is closest to how it feels. My right leg will have bruises from the hip down to the knee because I fell into Aidan's carseat. But I missed Aidan and didn't break or sprain anything so I guess I'm lucky. Oh, and I think I'm going to have a nasty bruise on the upper part of my left knee.

I've been using my slow cooker a lot, well once or twice a week. I've made Rroasts, Swiss steak , Cchili Verde, and today I'm making Chili. I really like the way things turn out, tender with the flavors well mixed. So far everything has been pretty easy to put together. The hardest part is the cutting and chopping of the veggies. The house smells so good when I use it.

We are working on coming up with the money to get up to Oregon for Marks wedding. I want to be up there a couple of days before our money comes in, but I may not be able to pull that off. I guess we could leave really early on the 3rd, and hope to be up there and not totally exhausted for the bachelor's party on the 4th. The wedding is the 6th so I'm sure I'll make it in time for that. I don't know if Howard will be going with me or not. I'm not looking forward to driving that far alone with Aidan, but I could do it if I need to. Or maybe it would be better to go by train? Hmm I'll have to check out the cost of tickets.

I'm feeling a little divided, I want to move into a bigger place, and I want to move back to Oregon. Howard is looking for jobs up there, and if he goes to the Wedding with me he will spend some of his time looking through the papers, and actually going to the places he would like to work to put in applications. If he doesn't go with me then I'll bring back the papers for him. It might not be wise to move into the bigger house just to have to sell it and move to Oregon, but I REALLY want to move into the bigger space. And what if Howard doesn't get a job in Oregon for a couple of years? I don't want to live in this place for that long.

Monday Positives.

It's been quite a while since I last took the time to think of the good things in my life.

Aidan is happy and healthy.
Learning to use my slow cooker.
Eating better, and loosing 2 pounds last month.
Talking to the people I love on the phone.
Finally getting a new cell phone. (Now if only I can talk Jimmy into letting me keep it.)

I hope everyone has a good week.

The right side of Aidan's bad hair cut. 

The back and left side of Aidan's bad hair cut. Howard won't let me try to even it out. He thinks I'll end up shaving it all off. LOL 

Aidan updates.

While Aidan still isn't talking as much as I would expect him to be at 22 months, he did pick up a couple of new words over the Holidays. He says "baby" and "WOW!" I call him baby sometimes, and I'm sure he got the Wow from me while he was opening his presents. He also says "I see." and "See it." So maybe everyone is right and he has just been too busy with other things to worry about talking.

He can climb out of his bed, but doesn't do it often. Thank goodness! He likes to try to sweep, which bothers me because the broom is so long I'm afraid he will knock something down on himself. He understands about reading, and will sit with his books and pretend to read them. Sometimes he points at the words and says "A b c". He brings the books to me so I'll read them to him. Until recently he didn't want to sit still long enough to be read to.

A night of nightmares and tears.

Everything started out Okay. We were at some kind of gathering, we needed somewhere to stay. Mark and Snowanna were with us, but she was only about 4 or 5, there were other members of my family there too, but I can't remember who they were. We discovered that a house that belonged to someone we were related to was available to all of us. So we settled in for the night.

Howard and Aidan were in a room decorated for boys, because Aidan loved it so much. There wasn't enough room in there for me, so I found another room across the ... Parking lot? ... from them. I could see their room from my window. Snowanna decided that she wanted to sleep with me, so she climbed in and snuggled up. When we woke up I showed Snowanna the view.

The scene switched a bit and I'm standing outside. I'm still talking to Snowanna, but she's grown up now. An old family friend we called "Bus" was backing a new white ford pick-up truck out of the ... Drive way? ... when I see Aidan coming around the back of the truck. I get "Bus" to stop and run over to pick Aidan up. I smile and wave at "Bus" as he leaves and waves back. (An aside here, Bus died 20 or so years ago. He loved all the kids, starting with my Dad. He and his wife were not able to have any children of their own.)

After Bus left I put Aidan down, we were at a park or other child oriented location. There where children every where. Aidan was being good and walking on the sidewalk instead of cutting across the parking lot. I was talking to someone, not Snowanna, and watching Aidan walk to his Daddy when this bus like RV pulled into the parking space between us. She was at an odd angle and pulled up onto the curb to try to help straighten it out. I was trying to see Aidan because he was in that area. She started to back up, the front end of her RV was taking out more of the sidewalk. I screamed and yelled at her to stop.

It seemed like forever, but I finally got her to see me and to hear me by banging on the glass door. She stopped. I looked under the RV to see if I could see where Aidan was. The front of the RV had tracks, like a tank, instead of wheels. I saw 3 little girls on the other side. They were staring at the tracks. One of them said "It just ran over his head." I looked at the tracks, there was a small distortion about the size and shape of a little body under the tracks, and I knew that it was Aidan. I screamed and that scream woke me.

The scariest part of the dream is that it's so easy to loose track of where Aidan is. Like most kids his age he is fearless, and he can move very quickly when he wants to. A moments distraction and he's gone to find something else to do. In the dream he was actually doing things the right way, he should have been safe, but he wasn't. It took me almost an hour to be able to think of it without crying again. I couldn't get back to sleep for over two hours, because I kept seeing it all over again. Touching Aidan, alive and sleeping in his own bed helped some. Sitting up at 4 AM to write this all down helped some more. What could this dream be trying to tell me?

The Fun Fur Project.

It's almost as tickely and soft as it looks.

The Fun Fur project, it's going to be a scarf. 

Presents and love.

For me this Holiday Season is all about the love. Family and friends. I, of course, like to get presents and to give them. I did get some interesting gifts this year. Howard and Aidan got me a Crock Pot slow cooker and a Scrapbook kit. Aidan got me 2 balls of bright red Fun Fur yarn because I've been wanting to try it ever since it came out. Howards Aunt gave me some make-up and moisturizer. (I don't use make-up but she is always giving me papers with hints on how to use make-up. LOL) My Parents sent me a Cookbook called "Early American Cookery" and a pair of hand knitted "scuffies" (aka Slippers). But the best gift of all was the Picture Share photos of my Mom with Xander and Snowanna with little DJ that Nicole sent me. I've been feeling kind of lonely and separate from my family and friends so that really brightened my day. The Love I feel for the wonderful people in my family, both blood relations and chosen family, and the love I feel from them is what makes this time of year special for me.

On this day.

Today is my Parents anniversary. If they hadn't gotten divorced for a while it would be their 46th! So I'd like to wish them a Very Happy Anniversary! (They recently got back together and re-committed to each other.)

Today is also the Winter Solstice, some calendar say that it's tomorrow though. So I'd like to wish all my Pagan friends a Peaceful and Happy Solstice.

For those who celebrate Christmas, to you I wish a Joyous and Merry Christmas.

This time of year I think about my family, those who are physically close to me and those far away. I remember those who have passed and the loving times we spent together over the years. I had a fairly calm and very happy childhood. Due for the most part to the family members who loved me, guided me, and allowed me to find my own path. I hope I have been able to pass some of the love to my own children.

For all my family and friends: I Love you, I miss you, and I send my love and best wishes for a Happy Holiday season.

Aidan in his outside toy.