Sunday, July 06, 2014

Death Penalty

My respect for life, all life, is being challenged. I want to be opposed to the death penalty, but in the case of the father who left his child in a hot car to die I'm loosing the battle with myself, because it appears that he may have done it on purpose. It also looks like his wife was in on it as well. I am at a loss here. I want to remain on the higher ground, I want to be okay with life in prison for them. But ... after the horrific thing they did, to an innocent child ... my emotions want to see them locked in a car in the heat of the summer for hours, until they die as that poor little boy died. I feel guilty for wanting that. I know that I shouldn't, I know that life, even the life of such vile humans as these two are, has more meaning than that. But in this case ... I just can't get past the horrible way that baby died.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Judging others.

I've recently been reminded that any of us could easily judge someone else without knowing the whole story. People on both sides of an issue do it. It's pretty easy actually. Someone posts something on Facebook that you disagree with, so you comment about how you see the issue. You think you know the thought process behind the post, and so you decide that the person posting the offending thing must be some horrible kind of person. The person who posted also easily can decide what it is you are saying and judge you based on what they THINK you think/feel/know/or want when it comes to this subject.

This happened to me the other day. Someone said something about abortion and how she wouldn't be able to have a relationship with a man who agreed to an ex girlfriend having an abortion. She said that someone who had an abortion or someone who allowed one to happen would be bad parents and should never have children. She didn't know that I had to have a medically necessary abortion years ago. But she would have judged me a bad parent because of it. Someone else judged her and said some hurtful things, not knowing that she had recently had a miscarriage of a much desired baby. I can understand that too, because when I was trying to conceive my second child I became pregnant fairly quickly after stopping the pill. I didn't tell anyone, not even the father. Which turned out to be a good decision because a couple of weeks after I had the positive pregnancy test, I had a miscarriage. It was early enough that I was able to pass it off as a heavy, more painful than ever, period. I was devastated. I've never felt so much emotional pain in my whole life. So I understand her pain and where she is coming from with some of what she said. But, it hurts that she would think that I'm a bad parent, that I never should have had children, because of a medical decision.

Just to be clear, I don't think that abortion is a good choice, but sometimes it's the best choice. I wish that every child that was conceived was wanted and that there never was any reason to have an abortion. Life isn't like that now, unfortunately.

There are many other things we judge each other about. I'm working hard not to judge anyone any more. I don't know their story. I don't know what led them to be the kind of person they are, or to do the things they do. I need to not worry so much about that kind of thing when it comes to others. I can worry about their safety or their finances or other things like that, without judging them. It's hard, I think humans are hard wired to judge, to come to a conclusion about someone based on a few moments, or a few details. I want to stop doing that. I'm trying very hard, I fail often, but I am making progress.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Forgiveness or rather, not forgiveness.

I am having trouble keeping my promise to myself. I promised to not hate another person, to not wish someone dead or hurt. I think I did okay when Frank Phelps died. But today I read about a man, a Father, who beat his 6 week old daughter bad enough to break her arm and put her in the freezer when she wouldn't stop crying. All I can think of is that he should be put in a freezer, with a broken arm wearing only a diaper, so he can feel what his child felt. Perhaps give him some drugs so that he doesn't really understand what is happening to him, at least for the first hour or so. Then let him regain his mental abilities and fully understand what he did to his poor little baby. Then lock him up until his daughter is at least 21, so that she can legally take care of herself and stay away from him without depending on someone else to protect her.

I guess it's a good thing she is so young. She probably won't remember any of it. The article didn't mention if she will have lasting problems because of any of this, but hopefully she will grow up just fine and won't have any lingering difficulties to deal with.

I want to forgive and turn it all over to God. But I can't stop thinking that someone should hurt him like he hurt his child. I want to be able to have only compassion for all people, but I can't when I'm dealing with people like that. I'll keep trying, maybe someday I'll be able to do that.