Wednesday, October 27, 2004

10 Scary things.

1. Young children, say under 13, and uncontrolled water, rivers or lakes.
2. The thought of loosing Aidan, Allen, Christopher or Xander.
3. The way people drive in the rain here in California.
4. House Fires.
5. Guns.
6. Being trapped within my own head. Nonfunctional body with perfectly functioning mind unable to do anything.
7. The way some people treat their children.
8. The fact that some people even have children.
9. The thought of waking up next to a dead man.
10. Anything that includes unexpected pain. Pain that I haven't been prepared for.

Several of those things have been dreams over the years. Loosing the kids I love, and kids near water are recurring dreams for me. I've dreamed of loosing Allen and Christopher in rivers and lakes and not being able to get to them. It's scary enough that I can't relax when I'm at a river or lake and there are any kids there. I've also dreamed that my husband had died during the night while we were sleeping. I used to think that I wanted to die in my sleep until I thought of how my husband would feel waking up next to a dead body.

House fires, guns and the way Californians drive in the rain (at least the ones around here) are all also related to injury of the people I love. Although I think that I'd really hate to die by burning, I'm more afraid of a fire killing people I love.

Fears for myself are a little harder, I would really hate to be trapped in my own head unable to communicate with others. Thinking of pain I'm not prepared for is a little scary as well. My children were born by c-section, the thought of natural child birth and the pain I know nothing about is scary to me.

I find spiders to be creepy, but not scary. The same with snakes.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Monday Positives

Taking a nap when Aidan does.
The Celtic Knot work baby blanket is almost finished.
Reconnecting with the SCA.
Thoughts of returning to Oregon, to live, in the near future.
RAIN! Beautiful, wet, life giving rain! Finally!
Exclamation points to let people who read this blog know just how excited I am about something.

Friday, October 22, 2004

There is a well worded entry about the Gay Marriage issue in this blog. Blurbomat . I wish I could find the book I have that talks about Same Sex Marriages / relationships through the ages. I remember reading that until recently marriage was not a religious thing. (recent being in the last couple of hundred years or so.) I will have to search through my many boxes of things and find it. I know it's here somewhere because I've seen it since we moved to California.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Monday Positives.

Even though I wasn't feeling well, my birthday week-end was very nice. I spent it doing pretty much nothing but playing with Aidan and watching movies with Howard.

It actually started to rain! The highs are going to be around 70 or so for the next few days, and it will probably rain a little bit as well. I'm so happy!

The end of my head cold is finally in sight. I'm feeling so much better today, although not completely recovered.

Even though my DVD player decided to break down, Howard had already installed a program which allows us to play a movie on the computer and watch it on the TV.

My sweet husband washed all the dishes, and set up Aidan's new twin size bed. Just because I was feeling yucky and it was my birthday week-end. I know how much he hates washing dishes so it was a really big deal especially since I had fallen behind because of being sick for 3 days.

I talked to Snowanna yesterday. It sounds like she has things worked out pretty well. She and David are going to school through an internet school, which allows them to do things at their own pace and lets them stay at home with little DJ. It looks like David can graduate this school year, and Snowanna could graduate next school year. Both ahead of schedule. Then they plan to go to Community College, he wants to be an EMT, and she wants to be a juvenile Parole Officer. She is studying Spanish so that, maybe she will be able to qualify for bi-lingual status. I think she can do this, she is smart enough, and strong enough. She just has to keep with it, even when it gets hard. And it will get hard.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Happy Birthday to Me!

That's right, today is my birthday. How old am I, you ask? I'm 45. Yup, 45 years old. My age isn't an issue with me. The fact that I have a 25 year old son and a 22 year old son is an issue for me. How did they get so old? Wasn't it just last week that they were only 5 and 8? I feel much older being the mother of a 25 year old than I do being 45. Oh, and having a Grandson who is going to turn 6 in December! That makes me feel pretty old too. I love them all so much. I know that many parents feel like their kids grow up too fast, that time flashes by so quickly. I can't imagine how old my Mother must feel today. LOL

Today I'm just sitting around, resting. Because I've been kind of sick the last few days. I had a migraine last night and ended up throwing up just before I went to bed. Before that I felt sick for a few days, but didn't actually throw up. I also had a stiff back for most of the week. But today I feel much better, just a little tired.

Yesterday we put a twin size bed in Aidan's room. It just barely fits. We have the mattress and box springs set on edge against the wall for the time being. I have to decide what to do with my big old dresser. It's 19 inches deep so it's going to be a challenge. But I'm thinking about where I can squeeze it in. Tomorrow I'll move it, if I actually figure out where to put it. (Oh just in case you were wondering, Aidan is 20 months old as of the 14th. He's growing up pretty fast too!)

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

A swarm of tidal waves dream.

This was another dream where I was me, but not me somehow. I was living in a coastal community, maybe in Hawaii.

I had long straight dark hair, like a Hawaiian woman. Howard was not Howard and was also Hawaiian, and both of us were very young.

We were standing on the deck of his parents house looking out at the ocean. The house was atop a cliff over a beach. It was a very beautiful setting. Off to the right the cliff curved and shortened, so just that it eventually merged with the beach. We watched the children playing on the beach and the waves coming in. Then we noticed that the water was receding (like people describe it doing just before a tidal wave.) People ran up the path to the top of the cliff and watched a wave wash over a section of the beach.

Then, at what now seems like an unhurried pace, the water receded again, and another wave came crashing in a bit closer. People were talking about what they were going to do when the waves came to our part of the beach.

My husbands parents closed up their house, because it was built to sustain a tidal wave, and they would be safe in it. My Hubby and I decided to get our surf boards and try to ride the wave. Somehow I got separated from him and couldn't find him again. I also couldn't find my surf board. The wave was coming in so I swam to a ship or houseboat made from a Navy ship. I got in just in time to feel the wave rock the boat a little and then it was gone. I went back to my in-laws house, they had some cracked windows but that was all the damage they had. Some how they had gathered several children and we had to find their parents. Throughout all of this I was angry and worried about my husband.

In all we saw 4 waves. There didn't seem to be any real hurry about things, no fear, just excitement and wonder. The third one hit our area of the beach.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Monday morning positives

I'm happy that I didn't give myself a concussion when I forgot that the ceilings in this house are very low and flicked the sheet to straighten it out and ended up bringing down the whole fixture, breaking the bulb and giving myself a lump the size of a mouse ball in the center of my forehead.

I'm happy that my brothers are doing well after their separate medical experiences.

I'm happy that Aidan is growing up well and learning many things, even if one of them is climbing out of his bed which means that we will have to get him a new bed that won't be a falling hazard for him.

I am happy that Aidan's first adventure being awake and out of bed before anyone else led him to my room where he tried to tickle our toes with his chilly little fingers. He could have gone into the kitchen and tried to make breakfast, or dumped the trash, or satisfied his curiosity about the things under the sink.

The weather here is sunny, and warm. It's been in the lower 80's for about a week now. It's finally cooling off!! Yeah!

Friday, October 08, 2004

A weeks worth of posts, well maybe.

I'm sorry I've been so lax on keeping up with this. Aidan and I had a stomach bug or something. He threw up Tuesday night, Wednesday morning and that afternoon. By Thursday he was back to normal. I did throw up, but felt like it all day Wednesday and Thursday. I'm feeling pretty well today.

Not much progress has been made on the Baby blanket. Between feeling ill and my elbows hurting, I just couldn't do it.

Oh yeah! One really good thing did happen this week! On Sunday Howard and Jimmy gave me an early Birthday present. (My birthday is the 16th) It is a 1987 Dark Brown Cadillac DeVille. It's in beautiful shape, runs perfectly, and is much appreciated. The public transportation system around here sucks. It's worse than Salem in a lot of ways. Some things are within walking distance, but with the hot weather I haven't been able to go anywhere. Now I can go pick up milk when I need it. I don't feel so tied down to the house now either.

My sister-in-law brought some of Garrett's old cloths down for Aidan. Garrett is 10 months older than Aidan so it still works out well. There are some really nice things in there. Some of them where probably pretty expensive. Aidan is pretty well set for the next few months anyway, maybe even a year or more.

Howard got me "The Sims 2" I'm trying to learn how to play it now. It's more complicated than the original, some of it is easier, but some of it is harder. The frustrating thing about it, for me, is the build mode. It is harder to use than the old one. Buying and placing furniture is frustrating as well. I'm getting better, and will soon have my house built and furnished so that my family, sisters named Bridget and Arowyn O'Riley, can start their lives. I only play for a couple of hours in the after noon, and since Aidan is usually up, those hours are interrupted to play with him and keep him out of trouble. He likes the game too though so he will sometimes sit on my lap and watch. In the evenings, after Aidan is sleeping and if Howard is out working with Jimmy, I might play a little more. But usually Howard is home and that is his computer time.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Snowanna's son is here!

Little David Michael was born on Wednesday September 29 th! I've seen a few pictures of him and he looks so cute! He has lots of dark hair. I don't have all the details such as his weight and length yet, because my phone has been out of order for the last few days. It's working now, so maybe I'll get a call soon. If not I'll call my Mom after 9 tonight or tomorrow morning depending on what happens around here. I'm so excited! I'm a GREAT-AUNT! Now I have to really hurry on that baby blanket for him! Sorry for all the exclamation points, did I say that I'm EXCITED!

(edited to add:)

"David Michael was born Sept 29 around 1 pm, I believe. She had to have him Cesearian, as he was getting too tired. She did extremely well during the delivery and all, while I was there a few of the nurses came in telling her how wonderfully she did. The baby was 9lbs 4oz, 21 inches long. His chest was 18 inches across, and his head 11inches. They took his footprints and handprints while I was there, and he wasn't exactly happy about it. He just wanted to sleep! They had induced Snowanna the day before, and she was in labor for almost 24 hours - from the time she called to say she was being induced until the time she had him, it was almost 24 hours. She
should get to come home on Saturday, Mark and I are going to pick her up."

Thank you Eileen for all the details! In case you missed it, Eileen is my brother Mark's fiance. She also told me some other good news, Mark is doing well after his surgery. I am so glad that she is there for Mark and to help keep me up to date on things.