Thursday, April 29, 2004

Dream snippet

In this dream I was a teenager, my friends and I were walking around with nothing particular to do. Someone had to use the bathroom, so we stopped in at a roller skating rink and pretended that we were looking for some place to hold a birthday party, while my friend used the restroom. The man who owned the place showed us some interesting features he could use to decorate for our party. He asked me how many people would be there, and I said "about 6 or so" he looked at me funny and I said, "only 6 I'm sure." Because I remembered that the place was really small and a large party wouldn't work. The alarm woke me at that point.

Rarely Asked Questions

From Nicole who got it from Hetty

1. What is the "theme" on your calendar this year?
The only paper calendar I have came from an Asian Market here in town.

2. Do you read the newspaper every day?

3. What kind of shoes are you wearing right now?
None, later I will probably wear msandalses.

4. What magazines do you subscribe to?

5. What is your favorite condiment?
I don't think I have a favorite.

6. What was the first occupation you remember wanting to have?
After Mommy, I think it was Ballerina

7. Are you a green thumb?
Nope, closer to a black one. Plants die on me all the time.

8. Did you have an imaginary friend when you were little?
Not that I recall, although my Mother says that I seemed to see something on the ceiling and told her it was hippopotamusus.

9. Do you floss regularly?

10. If you could still hang posters of celebrities on your walls and get away with it like when you were 12, who would be on your walls right now?
I didn't do it when I was 12 why would I do it now?

11. Do you keep shoe boxes or throw them away?
I keep them for wrapping gifts in, I don't buy shoes often so I don't usually have many.

12. Would you be embarrassed if someone looked under your bed?
No, we just moved in here so it's clutter free right now.

13. If you could be one character in book, who would you be?
I don't know, but probably none of them.

14. What do you sleep in?

15. What is your favorite word?
I don't think I have a favorite word, but it seems that I use perhaps, actually and probably a lot these days.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Dream segments

Last night I had a slightly confusing dream. For some reason Howard and I had become involved in a company of some sort. We went to a meeting with the representatives of this company in a store that was a combo of a hardware/garden store and a craft supply store. We waited with other people for what seemed like hours. People began to grumble and some of them left. We were talking to another couple who told us that they thought something was wrong and the meeting wasn't going to happen. More people were getting upset and leaving. Howard wanted to leave, but I thought we should give them a chance just in case something had happened. He got angry with me, and stormed away. I wanted to stay for a class they were having. This class was on how to make a beaded globe. I already had all the supplies. But I started to feel guilty so I went out to the car. Howard wasn't there, but ----- was (I can't remember his name). Anyway I asked him to go find Howard, there was a crowd of angry people and I didn't want to go through them. I knew that ---- would do anything I asked. At that point the alarm went off and my dream ended.


I'm sorry it took me so lone to figure this out, but now that I know how to do it I will use it more often. Thank you Nicole.


Sorry it took me so long to figure it out, but at least now I know. I'll be much more likely to use them now. Thanks Nicole for the suggestion.

Niether of them seems to work quite right.

Hmmm I'll have to look into it some more. Try this.

Unconscious Mutterings

Second try.

How about this : Unconscious Mutterings?

How is this?

It was suggested that I include links to the places I found some of my interesting things, so here is the link to the "I say ... and you think ..." posts. I don't know how to put them in where you just click on a word and you get the link, but I'll learn how as soon as I can.

Monday, April 26, 2004

Happy thoughts for Monday.

Aidan is taking more unsupported steps.
Our fence is 1/4 done.
Howard b-b-qed yesterday.
It looks like the job market may be looking up here in California.
My family is happy and healthy.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

I say ... and you think ... ?

Elastic :: waist band
Intervention :: assistance
Risk :: taker
Junk food :: too much
Arrogance :: snobbery
Responsibility :: children
X :: Ray
Marshall :: gather
Kill :: Bill
Brother:: sister

Friday, April 23, 2004

Thoughts for today.

I've found some interesting bloggs recently. I check on them almost every day, when I check on those of my friends. I've put some of them in my links list, check them out if you want to. I am always looking for web sites to visit, learning and sharing sites. I'm interested in arts and crafts, like the "Yarn Mad" blog about knitting. I am interested in spiritual growth, learning the philosophy of different groups. I have friends who are not main stream in their life style, so I'd like to find sites that share thoughts and ideas about differing lifestyles. I also have dear friends who are not straight sexually, bi-sexual, transexual, and homosexual, support groups and sites for friends and family would be great. (I'm bi-sexual, and polyamorus) So if you know of any sites I'd like to have them.


I haven't been doing much that is creative lately. Sorting out and unpacking after the move has taken up more time than I'd like, I don't have much left after I read my e-mail, check all my groups, check my favorite Bloggs, clean house, take care of Aidan, and cook dinner. Things will settle down soon I'm sure. Then my only problem will be finding the inspiration or the creative spark to do something. LOL

I'm in a good mood today, even considering I have a head ache. I wish today was Saturday so I could call my friends or family I'd like to talk to someone today. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

I say ... and you think ... ?

Virginia :: Dare
Soft :: Hard
Carol :: Duval
Vanity :: Mirror
Feminist :: March
Alias :: Nickname
Coward:: Of the county
Beer :: Yuck
Chance:: Game
Honest :: Open

Thank you Jennifer.

Page 23

From Nicole

[from Anne]

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

"It had become his bed of choice."

Who am I today...

I've invited some new friends to read my blog. I'm not sure if they will get around to reading any of this, or if they will every comment. But I thought I'd give them some back ground about me, and let them know who I am today.

I'm 44 years old, in October I'll be 45. I've been married 3 times. I have 2 sons with my first husband, they are Chris (25 May 10) and Allen (22 September 4), Allen has a 5 year old son named Xander. I have another son (step-son I want to adopt), Aidan (born February 14, 2003) with my third husband. My first husband is Don Weber, and our relationship was not a good one. Our divorce was fairly easy though, and as long as we don't have to talk to or think of each other we seem to do fine. My second husband is Dannan Tavona, he and I were best friends before we married, but he couldn't take the difficulties of raising teenagers and left me after 12 years together. We parted on good terms, but never talk to each other anymore a fact I'm saddened by. My current husband is Howard McMillen, he is Aidan's father. We are still very happy together after almost 6 years together. (May 1, 1998 we met, May 1, 2000 we married.)

I have 2 brothers, Cody who will be 42 in October and Mark who will be 36 in September. Cody is married to Kelly, they have 5 children. Caleb just turned 11 (I think) in February, Josh will be 7 in October, Jessica will be 5 in October, Garrett just turned 2 April 19th, and Mackenzie who will be one in September. The last 4 kids are foster kids who they hope to adopt. (Garrett is already adopted). My memory for their ages and their birthdays isn't very good, but Kelly promised to send me a calendar with their birthdays on it so maybe I'll be able to send them a card at least.

Mark is single, with a 16 year old daughter Snowanna. Unfortunately Snowanna got pregnant recently, but the good news is that everything seems to be going well health wise. The father of the baby married her not long after they discovered the pregnancy. I can only hope for the best for all of them. Mark has found a wonderful woman to share his life with, her name is Eileen (I think that is how she spells it). I haven't met her yet, but I've heard good things about her.

Both of my parents are still living. They were divorced for quite a while, but are back together again now.

I was born in El Paso, Texas, and lived in the South West until I turned 14, I then moved to Oregon, where I lived until September 10, 2002. I am now living in California.

I have 2 AA degrees, one in Education (Instructional Assistant) the other was called an Oregon Transfer Degree, and covered all the lower division classes needed. I got my BS in Social Science (Anthropology and Sociology were my main focus) with an Art minor. All my Higher education happened after Allen started elementary school.

I have a few close friends, and many other friends. My friend Cheryl, I've known her since my sophomore year in High School. She helped me be less shy and stood by me through some tough times. Nicole, is like a little sister to me, though we have moved away from each other physically and perhaps grown slightly apart as well. She helped me grow spiritually as well as emotionally. Jennifer, is someone I know I can depend on, I feel like she and I should have been sisters. She is there for all her friends, solid and loving. She was also a big part in my growth spiritually and emotionally. There are also many children who I came to love through friendships with their parents, or babysitting or both.

All these people and events have shaped who I am. Each has taught me something important, sometimes the lesson may have been hard or painful.

I'm sure that there are things I forgot to include. I know there are things that I should have included but felt were too ... Private to share publicly. I hope this will kind of give you an idea as to who I am today.

For all of you who know me personally, I'm sorry to drag you through all of this now. If you are still reading this, thank you.

Please feel free to comment on any thing I've written so far and anything I write in the future, all of you.

Monday, April 19, 2004

Happy thoughts for a Monday.

I got 4 loads of laundry done over the week-end.
Today is a nice day, not too hot and not too cool.
I'm finally settling into my new home.
I have a happy and healthy family.
I'm making progress in getting rid of things I don't need any more.
I have a porch now instead of just a set of steep steps.

Week-end hassles.

Friday night Aidan bumped his mouth on the rail of his playpen, his upper left canine just happened to be close to coming through, so he broke it through with a little blood and a lot of crying. Saturday he was fussy all day because the other canines and one of the pre molars decided to come through ... Yesterday was a little rough because I had to do laundry. Right now this means I had to go over to Howards cousins house. The problem with this is that I had to spend the afternoon, 5 hours of it, in a back bedroom that isn't child proof, with a 14 month old who wouldn't listen, and wouldn't take a nap. He fell off the bed twice, pulled down a stack of papers once, and yelled a lot. Finally I got a little help, Buna came home from church and sort of kept him busy while I folded and finished my laundry. Unfortunately I had to sit with her for 2 1/2 hours, this is a problem because I've heard every story she has to tell, at least 10 times each. I cant decide if everyone she knows thinks she is worthless (several of her stories are about the time so and so wouldn't let her hold the baby because of her epilepsy, or how her in-laws think her husband should leave her because she couldn't have children.) or if they love her to pieces ( Other stories are about how she just about raised every child in the family, or how some of her nieces look like they were Buna and Jimmies children.). Put that together with a rather judgmental personality, and a poor me attitude and maybe you can see how it would be ... tiring to spend much time with her. One day I'll tell you more about her, because it does me good to vent.

Friday, April 16, 2004

A funny dream segment.

For some reason Howard and I were trying to talk to this couple who lived in a brick house. Howard went around to the back door. I knocked on the front. I was talking to the woman when her husband came up to her and asked "Honey did you order a Pizza?"
She turned to him and asked "No, why?"
"Well, there is an Italian Pizza boy at the back door." After some investigation we discovered it was Howard. When asked why he had gone to the back door and had spoken Italian then identified himself as a Pizza delivery boy, he said that he couldn't think of anything else to get the man to open the door. I woke up laughing.

Ok so it's not as funny to other people as it is to me. LOL

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Dream interpretation

Years ago I was taught a method of dream interpretation. It seems very simple, but can be quite complex. The first thing you need to do is write down what you remember about the dream. Then in each sentence or paragraph underline the parts that seem the most important. Make a list of these important words or phrases. Now think about what those things mean to you. For example a home of your own might mean security or too much work, a baby might mean happiness or responsibility or complications, a car could be freedom or responsibility. Then look at the relationship between these things in the dream and then relate the your meanings to each other in the same way. I had a dream years ago in which I had a beautiful baby girl, who was very very tiny. I was moving into a new house, and misplaced the baby. To me the baby meant happiness, the house meant security, so somehow I was worried that I'd misplace my happiness while getting my security. If you try it let me know how it works for you.


Aidan is finally taking independent unsupported steps. So far today he has taken 3 individual steps, he still prefers to crawl, but it seems that he has seen the benefits of walking at least for one step to get from this box to that one. I was a little worried, because Allen and Chris both walked at 9 months, Aidan was 14 months old yesterday. I've been reading a lot of parenting magazines and internet articles about what is normal. 8 to 18 months is normal for starting to walk, but there is a disorder which effects the balance. It causes kids who have it to feel that they don't know where their bodies are in relation to the rest of the world and so they tend to be scared to try to walk on their own. Aidan gets so mad when we try to get him to walk that I was worried he might has this disorder. But today it seems that he was just waiting for his own time. Thank goodness.

His language skills are growing as well, he calls to his "Da" in the morning, holds out his "ba" to have it filled, he will yell "MA!" when he finds himself alone in a room. He says a lot of other things that we have a hard time understanding, but he knows what he is saying. A couple of days ago we were driving a friend to the DMV and Aidan said something that sounded like " Na me Dada, na na na." The friend was a man sitting in the spot where Howard usually sits. I took it to mean "Not my Daddy, no no no." He wasn't mad just stating a fact.


I can't remember much about my dreams last night, but at one point I was sorting through some papers, which changed into Money, mostly 10's and 20's, but then I saw a 6000. I knew that I needed to keep this find a secret, because the box of papers belonged to someone who would want the money if they knew it was there, and I felt that I had the right to keep it. I'm not sure why I was going to keep it or why I felt that I had to hide it. I think that in real life I'd give it back to the person it belonged to, since I knew who that was.

Another bit: I'm painting my kitchen, it's going to be green and blue. The kitchen is this one, but about twice the size. I think we had built an add one that was the same size as the original house along the side and expanded all the rooms accordingly.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004


"A loving heart is the truest wisdom." - Charles Dickens

Monday, April 12, 2004

Happy thoughts for a Monday.

Howards family has 3 babies close to Aidan's age, and 2 more that are only 10 months younger.
Derrail has loaned me a car for awhile so that I don't have to wait to go to the store.
I'm almost half way through the pile of boxes in the yard.
It's Spring Break so Howard will be home for a week.
My family is healthy.

Strange Dreams.

Last night I had a strange dream, not weird or scary, but strange. I was back in college, sometimes I had Aidan with me but other times I was alone. After class I went to the chapel/auditorium, to read as I always did. People were all around laughing, talking, singing and practicing a play. When no one came to pick me up I went looking for my ride. Outside there was a very fancy Taco stand, where I bought a bottle of water. Then I saw a friend of mine and her baby. We walked together for a while until I saw Dannan (for those who don't know, Dannan is my ex husband) and I decided to follow him hoping he would lead me to my ride. We crossed a bridge, my friend was still with me. We talked of Dannan's hobby of making bridges. (He doesn't as far as I know) When we came to the parking garage it was very hot and smelled of gas and oil fumes. I told my friend that she shouldn't go any farther because of the baby and said good bye. I climbed down a ladder into the parking garage. I saw Dannan again, and followed him. I knew that he had seen me, but because we are divorced he didn't want to talk to me. After crossing one level, and going down to the second I saw a white station wagon and knew that it was Marks car, and that he was going to take us home. (Two things, Mark is legally blind, and Aidan had suddenly appeared in my arms again) We got in the car and Howard asked me were I had been for so long. I told him that I'd gone to the auditorium as always, why didn't he come and find me? "Today was different, no classes." He said. We were driving on a divided road, two lanes going our way and two the other. It's in a city with lots of lights. Mark leaned his seat back into the back seat and tried to get Aidan's attention. (He is driving the car from that position) When Aidan finally looks at Mark, he makes a dismissing sound and waves his hand in a go away motion. He was not impressed. I woke up laughing at Marks reaction.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Not much progress.

I haven't really made much progress with the sorting. I was so tired Friday I took 2 naps, the first one was for one and a half hours, the second was almost three hours long. I went to bed at the normal time and slept almost straight through the night. Saturday I took Howard to the dentist, and it seemed that every thing I did tired me out completely. I think I'm feeling a little more energetic today, but I don't know how much progress I'll make on the pile of stuff that is still sitting in the yard waiting for me to sort it and put it away. I'm getting too old for all of this.

My Mom told me that the trailer we lived in when I was three was very similar to this one. But they didn't have as much stuff as I do. I'll eventually get things done, and put things away. I think. There are so many things that need to be done around here and I just don't have the time or energy to do it.

Friday, April 09, 2004

Happy Birthday Elijah!

Today is the birthday of a very special little boy. He is the son of my dear friend Jennifer. I used to babysit for her and became very attached to him, he and his mother feel like part of my family. I miss them very much. (They live in Oregon and I'm in California) I can't believe that he is three this year! Anyway, I wanted to acknowledge Elijah and Jennifer today, even though it's kind of late.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Sorting and purging.

Those of you who know of my love for books will be surprised to learn that I'm sorting my books and I've already chosen two thirds of them to either sell in a yard sale or to donate to GoodWill. I'm also dumping a lot of the "memorabilia" and those things that I haven't used in over 2 years. I will probably have "too much" stuff when I'm finished so ... LOL But I am making progress.

All this moving with the lifting and such has aggravated my rotator cuff injury, and my right elbow aches. But If I can keep up the pace I'll get everything done in a couple of days, and that will allow the stresses on my arms to get better.

Other than that nothing new is going on. I've been too tired to remember any dreams. I've decided that the studies are right, lack of sleep and physical exhaustion do reduce your IQ score, because I feel like mine is about a 20 or so. LOL I'm ok though, just a little slow and not up to any good conversation.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

The Move is over!

Finally, we got everything moved. This place is smaller than the other one, but it is ours. I probably wouldn't have chosen this place, but ... Anyway, I just wanted to check in for a moment before going to bed. I love all of you who visit my blog.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Bits and pieces of dreams.

I haven't been able to remember much about my dreams lately. Last night I woke up to get a drink and thought about what I'd been dreaming before I woke up. But all I could remember was visiting with people from a different planet, they looked alot like us, except that they had a pecular fashion of pushing sticks that look like knitting needles through there heads. They explained that unlike humans they didn't have their brains in their heads, in fact their heads were more like balls of yarn than our heads.

I woke up this morning with vague memories of a dream involving a cartoonish superhero and evil monsters that wanted to eat the earth.