Wednesday, October 27, 2004

10 Scary things.

1. Young children, say under 13, and uncontrolled water, rivers or lakes.
2. The thought of loosing Aidan, Allen, Christopher or Xander.
3. The way people drive in the rain here in California.
4. House Fires.
5. Guns.
6. Being trapped within my own head. Nonfunctional body with perfectly functioning mind unable to do anything.
7. The way some people treat their children.
8. The fact that some people even have children.
9. The thought of waking up next to a dead man.
10. Anything that includes unexpected pain. Pain that I haven't been prepared for.

Several of those things have been dreams over the years. Loosing the kids I love, and kids near water are recurring dreams for me. I've dreamed of loosing Allen and Christopher in rivers and lakes and not being able to get to them. It's scary enough that I can't relax when I'm at a river or lake and there are any kids there. I've also dreamed that my husband had died during the night while we were sleeping. I used to think that I wanted to die in my sleep until I thought of how my husband would feel waking up next to a dead body.

House fires, guns and the way Californians drive in the rain (at least the ones around here) are all also related to injury of the people I love. Although I think that I'd really hate to die by burning, I'm more afraid of a fire killing people I love.

Fears for myself are a little harder, I would really hate to be trapped in my own head unable to communicate with others. Thinking of pain I'm not prepared for is a little scary as well. My children were born by c-section, the thought of natural child birth and the pain I know nothing about is scary to me.

I find spiders to be creepy, but not scary. The same with snakes.

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