Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Sadness, memories, and Holiday wishes.

I'm feeling sad today. I'll admit to watching all the ABC soaps, every day I'm home to watch them that is. So, today was the funeral for a still born baby girl, born to young parents on One Life to Live. I was reminded of our little Erin Marie. It's been over 10 years since she was still born to my Oldest Son and his fiance, but now and then I think of her and wonder what kind of a girl she would be now, what color of hair would she have? What color would her eyes be? Would she be like her Dad and be into computers? And I tear up missing her.

It helps to think of my Grandson, he turned 10 this year. He's a lot like his Dad, the good and the bad. I miss him too, because he lives all the way across the country from me, but I know that his Mom is taking good care of him. And that his Dad is trying his best to be a good Dad for him. I talked to my Grandson on his birthday, he was a bit distracted as 10 year old boys tend to be when talking to people they don't really know, but he was nice and polite such a good boy.

It's a bit strange thinking about my Grandchildren, who would both be 10 now, while watching my 5 year old son play with his toys. It's not the usual order of things. I'm kind of old to be raising a young child, at least in the eyes of most of society. However, I feel much younger than I really am. Perhaps it's because of the boys. I'm still in touch with some of their friend who still live around here, or maybe it's because of The Boy, he keeps me busy and doesn't let me get too set in my ways. Or it might be because I have really good friends who are younger and they keep me interested in things and more aware.

This time of year always brings memories of family for me. Those who are still here and those who have passed. So now I have to go plan for the Christmas presents I'm going to make for my family this year. I have things I need to remember to get when my Mom comes to take me shopping this Friday. I hope you all have a nice evening, and that the coming days are not too stressful.


Hennifer said...

I'm so sorry about Erin. I don't think I ever knew her name. I've spent a fair amount of time with the internet stillbirth community and know that losing a baby is something we never get over and is often overlooked by society after a time.

I'm amazed that a soap dealt with that story line. I hope it was done well.

I love you!

Messed up Mama said...

Thanks, I love you too! It is something that we are dealing with. I'm fine most of the time, but once in awhile I think of her and it's almost like it just happened. And I'm not her parent. I'm sure Christopher and Carol have their moments, and I'm sure their pain is even that much more sharp.

So far it's been handled fairly well. However, we will see if it's pushed aside and forgotten or actually makes an impact on the characters involved or not.