Friday, January 06, 2006
My Fear and Panic in the fog.
I really really hate fog! It scares me if I have to drive in it. I tense up and get panicky. Tonight it made me cry. We were going to a friends house for dinner and a good visit. The fog didn't seem too bad at first, I thought I could drive through it and I thought everything would be okay. But after missing the exit twice, once going north the other going south, and then not being able to see more than a few feet ahead of me I started to shake, and my hands stared to hurt from squeezing the steering wheel as if that would help me to see better. Finally, when I couldn't find the next road we needed to take I felt I had to give up. We were after all only about 1 mile away from Atwater, about 20 or so away from our destination. So I told Howard that it was over and I couldn't do it any more. He wanted me to let him drive, and I wanted very much to let him. But he is excluded from my insurance, because he doesn't have a drivers license right now, so I couldn't allow it. Finally we were home, we were safe, and I could let go of the tension. I, of course started immediately started to cry. Poor Howard didn't know what to do to make it better. He told me that we were all home safe, and that we could see our friends another time. I am feeling better now, we have been home for about 45 minutes. I'm still shaking a little bit, and my back hurts from the stress, but I'm not overly emotional any more, thank goodness.