Happy Birthday!

Dear Xander,

I wish I could call and tell you how much you mean to me. But I can't do that, so I'm hoping that your Mom will see this and let you know that I'm thinking about you today. I know that we don't know each other very well, and that makes me a little sad, but I know that you have a wonderful Mom and Dad, who love you even more than I do.

It's hard to believe that you are already 7 years old! I remember hearing that you were on your way into the world seven years ago. I was thinking about you and your parents wondering if you had been born yet. I was filled with love and joy when I heard that you and your Mom were doing well. It's interesting to me to think of how much I love you, my first grandchild.

I hope that your day is as special for you as you are to me. I wish I could be with you, to hug you and play with you. Aidan would have so much fun with his big friend Xander. Grandpa Howard told me to tell you that he hopes you have a great birthday. We all love you very much!

Kiss your Mom for me.

Love,
Grandma

Thanksgiving food and 2.75 year old melt down.

I made a Pumpkin cheesecake for Thanksgiving. It turned out really good. I'm not sure is anyone else liked it, but Howard, Aidan and I did. I also made a pumpkin bread, I KNOW that the kids liked that!

unfortunately Aidan had a major melt down just before dinner. I think it was a combination of too much action, not eating at the normal times, and missing his afternoon nap. But he was screaming, hitting himself, kicking his feet and crying. He wouldn't calm down for almost half an hour. Howard took him outside and just let him do it. He stood there to make sure he didn't really hurt himself. Things got worse whenever Howard tried to talk to him, or tried to calm him in any way, so all he could do was sit back and watch. Finally I went outside, it must have been the right moment because Aidan came into my arms and calmed down a little. He was still crying, as if he was extremely sad. We decided that it was time to take him home, and gathered things. By the time we left, Aidan was almost normal again. Once we got home, he ate a little, and went to bed. It was about 45 minutes earlier than normal. He's been fine since, so he isn't coming down with anything. (Thank Goodness!) This is not normal for him, I can count the melt downs we have had to go through on one hand. I wish I could have stopped this one. I'll have to be sure that Aidan gets a nap before we go over for Christmas. And I need to remember that when they say 2 or 3 as the time to arrive that it's more likely to be 5 or 6 before everyone gets there and we are able to have dinner. SO I need to make sure that Aidan is rested and has had something to eat BEFORE we get there. Oh, and we won't be going over until 5 or so. I felt so bad for Aidan, he must have been so overwhelmed. And now everyone has this image of him that isn't even close to how he really is. On top of that, all the other kids spend time together so they know each other well, and they had their GrandMother and Great-Grandmother there to be on their side and think they are the coolest, best and cutest. Aidan had his Daddy and me. Which is normally enough, but he didn't have anyone SPECIALLY his. Maybe if Jimmy and
Buna were here it would have been different. Maybe not. At least he isn't old enough to really notice the differences. Am I being overly bothered and worried about this?

Whining and self pity.

I'm still feeling very emotional. I miss my family and friends SO very much! Maybe it's my hormones causing this unusually sad feeling. I know that things are changing inside me, I think I'm getting closer to menopause. So I'm likely to be feeling kind of... off... for awhile. I just feel so alone here, I don't have any friends that are not Howard's family. My family are all so far away. Even my brother Cody is kind of out of reach for the most part. Well, at least Aidan is here to help bring my mood up a little. And Howard has been pretty understanding through it all. He wants to move back to Oregon even more than I do, so I guess it's pretty easy for him to understand how I miss home.

Thanksgiving

Howard and I have been a little sick the last couple of days. I think that we are finally on the mend now though.

Tomorrow we will be going over to his Aunt's house for Thanksgiving. I'm making a Pumpkin Cheesecake for the pot luck type dinner. I hope it turns out well.

I miss MY family and friends very very much. This time of year it seems to get worse, maybe because I have more time to think about them. I want you all to know that I'm thinking of you, I wish we could share Thanksgiving. I love you all.

Aidan and bed time.

We've had a few really busy days lately. Aidan isn't getting naps in the afternoon very often any more, which means he is more tired in the evenings. On Saturday we were out most of the afternoon, we are running the truck while Jimmy is on vacation. Aidan got to see some cows at the a dairy we were working at, and ran around and had a good time. We had dinner around 5, and then watched a little TV. Aidan got up from his chair and wandered off into his bedroom. I could hear him playing in there. After awhile I noticed that I hadn't heard him in a little while. I thought he had some how gotten into my bedroom, he loves to go in there for some reason. So I got up to check on him. But he wasn't back there. I looked in his room and he was up on his bed, covered up, and snuggled with his Elmo, fast asleep. (Elmo used to be mine, The Girl and Hennifer gave him to me, but Aidan fell in love with him so now Elmo is his. I hope they don't mind.) That is the first time he has ever done that. He did wake up around 11, but a diaper change and Pajamas, and a hug and kiss did the trick. He slept the rest of the night. Lately if we ask him if he is ready for night-night, he will go get Elmo and go to his bed. Well, if it's about 8 o'clock or there abouts. No bed time problems yet, thank goodness.

Another knitting post.

Well I actually did it, I got some wonderful yarn and made a sweater for Aidan. It's not really high quality yarn, but it's really soft and it looks good. I made it with Lion Brand Homespun yarn in "Montana Sky" which is a nice blue, kind of bumpy yarn.

It's too big, I had to knit it when he was sleeping so I just did it. LOL The sleeves and the lower edge have a roll built in. It's hooded, and should have a pocket on the front but I ran out of yarn before I got that far. He likes it ok, but since the sleeves are so long it's a bit of a problem, even rolled up the sleeves tend to slip down over his hands.

I got new glasses

Three or four weeks ago the right lens fell out of my glasses and broke. So I went in for a check up and to order new glasses. They arrived a couple of days ago, but I didn't get the notice until today. So here are a couple of pictures of me with my new glasses. They are the smallest lenses I've ever had, except maybe when I was a small child. The color in the photos is kind of poor, we were inside and didn't want to use the flash. I'll get some better photos soon.

Photo editing.

I finally found a photo editing program with clear directions on how to do what I really wanted to do. And it was FREE! So here is my favorite so far.

It was really very easy. The program is GIMP. There are a few other things I want to do, one of which is to change the back ground.

Pictures of the Furbrains and Aidan.

Here is a picture of litte Tee. He thought he was hunting in the tall grass under the cooler. It was hard to get a good shot of him today. He was very active, pouncing and jumping at the worst possible moment for photos.











This is Kee and Tee. I just got lucky in catching Tee mid-pounce.












Aidan liked this old riding mower. He climbed up on it and pretended to drive it. Here he is looking at his Daddy.













We went to visit Howards cousin Derrail, they have this little picnic table for their grandson, The boys were sitting on it for a time, but Caleb (The grandson) decided to get up. Then he sat on the ground behind Aidan. I knelt down to get a picture of Caleb. Aidan leaned down and peeked at me.

New knitting dilemma.

I've started a sweater for Aidan, I hope I have enough light blue yarn to at least finish the front and the back, I have some white and a multi-colored yarn with blue in it that would make good sleeves, hood and pocket. Or maybe I'll make the sleeves out of the light blue yarn and use the others for the body. Hmmm I might just have to go to the store and get something just for this sweater. Howard isn't really excited about sweaters for boys, but I think they are cool, and I can make one for a lot less than we can buy one for. Besides here in California it doesn't get all that cold so a sweater just might be a good choice instead of a coat. However, if we move back home to Oregon, we will have to find him a coat. Well, actually he has one I'm just not sure if it will fit for the whole winter. But in Salem we can go to the clothing by the pound shop, and maybe there will be something good there. I know that everything will work out ok, because I'll make sure of it. LOL

Cats renamed

Aidan has renamed our cats. The Mama cat was named Miss Psycho Kitty Furbrains McMillen, and the little boy kitty was Monster Child Furbrains McMillen. Now they are just Kee and Tee. Key is probably actually Ki, short for Kitty, and Tea, is probably actually Ty another shortened Kitty. But he knows which one is which and calls them by those names every time. I kind of like the new names anyway. But I'm going to keep the Furbrains part.

Blog stuff.

So you ever feel slighted by your on-line friends? For example, I submitted a comment to a blog I visit every day, and she never approved it. No explanation, nothing. It's not really a big deal, but for some reason I feel hurt by it. I almost don't want to visit her blog any more. It's such a small thing, but for some odd reason it's grown to be a very large thing in my mind. I'll get over it soon enough I'm sure.

My other favorites seem to be doing okay, although one of them has decided to stop blogging for now. I'll miss her, she has 2 little boys. One of them is a little older than Aidan and the other is a little younger. They live in England. It's been a lot of fun and very informative as well. But I understand her reasons and I support her choice.

I wish more of my family would write blogs, so I could keep up with what is happening with them. So far my 2 sister friends have blogs, and a couple of our friends. (actually my sister-friends are much closer to them than I am.) My son Chris has a blog, but he doesn't post often at all. That's it, everyone else I read on a regular basis are on-line friends, some of them don't even know I read them I'm sure. I have posted comments on a couple of them though.

I really admire those who have blogs. Keep it up. Inform us, help us, entertain us, keep your friends and family up to date on what you are doing. It is appreciated, even if no one says so.

Childhood perspectives.

It's interesting how we have a different perspective when we are children. Allen thinks I'm a TV addict, because the TV was on most of the time when he was little. But if he had been just a little bit more observant he would have noticed that I was reading or doing some craft or writing or something. The TV was background noise for me. Music was too distracting for the most part so I didn't listen to the radio or tapes often. I can't deal with the quiet either, so I needed something and TV was perfect. Neither of the boys were all that into TV either, Allen was more interested in people and being outside, Chris was into computers and reading. TV was background noise for them too, I think. But Allen thinks I was watching TV all that time, probably because of the few programs I really did watch. To a child it probably did seem like I watched a lot of TV, especially since he didn't watch much at all. Oh well, I doubt I could get him to change his view of it, so I won't even try.

Aidan is a lot like Allen in a couple of really important ways. First of all, he eats only when he wants to. Some days he eats and eats and eats, and other days he hardly eats at all. Allen used to be like that when he was younger. Aidan is pretty active, like Allen was, and he isn't all that interested in the TV. So I'm hoping that Aidan will be in much better shape than I am in. I am hoping he will be more like Allen and will be slim.

Aidan kisses Dora

So far Aidan hasn't had much preference about the things he wears. As long as he has clothing enough to keep warm or be allowed outside he is fine. I think that is going to change soon though. A couple of days ago we were grocery shopping, we were in the cereal section, when Aidan spotted Dora on a box of KIX, he doesn't usually eat KIX, but he just had to have THAT box. He even kissed her picture on the front of the box! I wonder how long it will be until he sees a shirt with one of the Backyardagains on it and just has to have it. He only watches about 10 minutes of any show right now, so maybe it will be longer than I think. I hope so, because those cloths are expensive! Oh and right now he is between sizes, his 2T pants are getting short, above his ankles, and 3T's are about 2 inches too long as well as a bit too big around the waist. I did hear that Levis slims are good for little boys who are not chubby. I'll have to look into them.

On a different note, Aidan has developed a taste for grapes. He still likes apples, oranges, peaches, blueberries and pears, but he would turn all of those down to have some grapes. Like most kids he likes candy and other sweets, but give him fresh fruit and he's happy. I'm trying to keep things balanced for him, not deny him sugar but keep a limit on it. He eats fairly well, he likes veggies, fruit, eggs, and dairy products. Some days he eats a lot of food, some days he eats a little food. The only problem I have with him is that he won't drink water. So I'm slowly watering down his juice and koolade hoping that he will eventually be ok with drinking plain water.

This and that.

This is proof that Howard is teaching Aidan bad habits. LOL I know that it was an almost empty milk jug. It didn't have enough left in it for a glass, but they both got a talking to about it.



Wish us luck, we have started on the long rocky road known to parents as Potty Training. It may still be a little early, in terms of his vocabulary and desire, but we are trying to set the stage for later advancement. He has training pants, and Howard got him some pull-ups kind of things at the store the other day. So far Aidan has peed in the toilet a couple of times, but still no poop. He doesn't tell me when he has to go, and I don't think he even cares if he is wet or poopy. But he does have a little seat that fits on the toilet seat, and a step stool so he can reach it by himself. I'm hoping that when it's really the right time he will do it just as quickly as he did when he moved to his bed from his crib.

Aidan is now saying "Thank you" and "Be careful" in pretty much the correct situations. He says "Cake" and "Coke" but neither of them usually mean actually cake or coke. Coke means that he wants something to drink, and cake means he wants a treat. Grapes are cake, fruit snakes are cake, and cake is cake. Milk and juice are coke, and any carbonated drink is also coke. But we are working on it. He still calls all animals Buddy. He knows that our kitten is a baby so he calls him Baby, and the Mom kitty is Kitty, as if they are named Baby and Kitty.

No news about a bigger house, or a job. There are possibilities though, so maybe I'll have good news for you all soon. It's about time that we finally have something good happen for us. But at least we have each other, and even though we are rather poor and live in a junky little house we are happy to be together.

Operation Eden

Here at Operation Eden a talented young man tells the story of the little town, Pearlington Mississippi, his Mother and brother live in. He has taken some wonderful pictures of the people and devastating pictures of the damage that hurricane Katrina did there. He has of a list of things that the people there need, things that are not getting to them through the Red Cross or FEMA. Like most blogs you need to start at the bottom and read upwards. He has a talent with photos as well as words. Check it out if you have the time.

I was going to post yesterday, but Blogger was down for a scheduled maintains. It was supposed to be only one hour, but 2 hours after it was supposed to be finished I still couldn't get on. This morning I don't remember what I was going to say. Oh well.

I had to get a new key board. Aidan spilled juice on my old one. It was 7 years old, and ergonomic style keyboard. So now I am having to get used to this new one. It's just a cheap traditional keyboard. The design is a little different, and of course the board it's self isn't split like my old one, so I keep hitting the wrong keys. (sigh) I'll get used to it, and my typing speed will get back to normal soon enough.

Aidan has learned to say "I love you too." It actually sounds more like "Of you too." But it is so sweet to hear. He has been watching Dora lately, and says "Backpack" but not when they ask kids to say it during the show. LOL He know what the backpack is though, because he points to it and says "Backpack". I'll have to see if he knows his backpack is a backpack.

Yesterday DJ turned 1. I wish I cold have been there to give him hugs and kisses and plenty of love. It was really nice spending so much time with him back in February. I miss my family so much! And my friends! I'm hoping that we can get back to Oregon pretty soon. I just don't know when that will be.

Tears of love.

I read The Girl almost everyday. This morning I got all teary eyed, because I wish I could be there to help her, because I love her and her family. And because I can't be there. I'm sure she knows that I love her, that I would do anything possible for her. However, I can't do anything about this particular situation. I have every confidence that she will be able to handle whatever life throws her way. Go in love, Little Sister.

Except for allergies I'm feeling much better now. Whatever it was went away almost as suddenly as it came. Thank goodness.

I'm thinking about baking some cinnamon rolls tonight or tomorrow. I've been wanting cinnamon rolls the last couple of days. Maybe I'll bake some bread too ... Maybe not. LOL It's getting easier to do things while Aidan is awake. He likes to pretend he is washing dishes while I cook. So I give him some plastic plates and cups and turn of the cold water. He will happily "wash" them for up to half an hour with out getting bored. Sometimes there is water on the floor but that's not too much of a problem considering I can do things in the kitchen and not have to worry about where he is and what he is doing.

Now that everything is finally cleaned up after my visitors this summer, I hope I can keep it up. That will keep my life more relaxed. We still haven't heard about moving, Howard is really getting tired of California. He would pack up today and go back to Oregon, if we had enough money to get a U-Haul. I'm a little more cautious. I'd like to have a plan before we do anything. I'd also like to have the adoption finished. But I don't know if that is going to happen. It could take 6 months or more, once we figure out how much money we will need. I have read that a home study isn't necessary, so that would save some money, if that is true. There are also ways to have some of the fees waived. I think it would be easier, and quicker to do it here. Aidan was born here and there are plenty of people who could testify about the situation. Oh well, I guess we will do what we have to do when we can.

Unknown illness.

I've had head aches and upset stomach for the last 3 days. All I've really wanted to do is sleep. That is something really hard to do when I have a family that doesn't seem to be able to function with out my help. Actually they do fine for the most part, but neither of them are used to not having me around to do things, so some things don't get done. I think I'm feeling better tonight so maybe it's past.

I need to e-mail my Mom to let her know that we aren't going to have a cell phone for a little while. We can't afford it right now, the service we were using didn't have a good connection around here, no connection in the house, and the battery on the phone wouldn't hold a charge very long. We tried to take it back to the store, and they said that they couldn't even order a new battery for us we would have to call the main office and talk to them. The main office told us to go to the store and refused to believe we had already done that. I need to let her know because I was calling every week-end and I don't want her to think I'm upset or anything.