Comment for charity.

This wonderful man will donate $1 to help those suffering from Katrina, for every one who comments to his post. He asked that the link be shared around the internet, so here it is. Go on over and post a comment. While there you might want to check into the rest of his blog, he's a writer with a book almost ready to present to publishers. I found this on His blog.

A story of a cake and a boy, in pictures.

More words!

Today Aidan came over to me and said "Gi me fie." and held his hand out palm up. It was so exciting that he said some thing new and knew exactly what it meant. So I "gave him five" as asked and he said it again. We played this game for a few minutes, then he got distracted by something across the room.

What Aidan is up to now.

Right now we are watching Sesame Street, they are singing the "School" song in Elmo's world. For those of you who don't know about Elmo's world, all the songs are sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells" and the words are repeated over and over. So the "School" song goes something like this: "School, school, school. School, school, school." I'm sure you get the idea. Anyway, Aidan is standing in front of the TV singing with them! What he is singing sounds like "Cool, cool, cool." but it is obvious that he is singing and dancing with Elmo and the others. It's the first time he has done this, and the first time he has used the word School.

He has also started to say "Eww, yucky!" when someone farts. Sometimes he uses it when he doesn't want something, or if he isn't hungry and is offered something to eat. He still doesn't say important words like "hungry or thirsty" or any other words to get what he wants. He does often say "thank you", and sometimes "you're welcome". It seems like he is making some progress with talking. My Mom thinks he doesn't talk because he doesn't have to, that might be part of it but I think it's more than that.

Happy Birthday!

Today my son, Allen, turns 23! I so, enjoyed his visit but wish that it had been able to last until his birthday, so that I could have been with him. Oh well, I'm sure he has plans. Anyway, even though I know he doesn't read blogs, I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my sweet little boy.
(Ok so he isn't so little any more, but he is sweet.)

Word verification turned on.

I got my first comment spam today. I deleted it and turned on the word verification for comments. Now when you comment you will have to verify that you are a real person and not a bot. I'm sorry it's a bit of an inconvenience.

Summer 2005

I was playing around with the photo editing program that came with my printer/scanner and added text to some of them.

Here are a few of my favorites.

Photos

Belinda and Allen.


Xander with Belinda in the back ground. I'll post some more when I can find the camera.

Everyone went home.

Saturday we all went to Turlock so the kids could play in the park with Cody's kids. I think that Xander had a good time with the kids, Aidan couldn't really keep up with them all the time but he had a good time as well. Then we went to Cody's house and I was able to visit with Kelly and everyone until about 11PM! It was great. But then we had to come home. Allen, Xander and Belinda had to stay at Cody's so that they could go to San Francisco Sunday. I miss them so much. Sunday evening my Mom came down from Cody's and stayed until this morning. Now all I have left is dirty dishes, and a house that feels very empty all of a sudden!

I enjoyed spending time with Xander, we were able to talk some. He is really fun to have around. I wish I lived closer to him so we could spend more time together. I enjoyed Allen and Belinda as well.

Now I have to figure out how to stop feeling so alone! I didn't really realize that I missed my family so much, until they were here.

They are here!

Allen, Xander and Belinda made it here early this morning. It was about 3:45 AM when the called to get directions. By 4 they were here. They all laid down for a little bit. My Mom, who had driven them down here, slept for almost an hour. Then she went up to my brother Cody's house. Right now Allen and Belinda are still asleep, Xander woke up a little while ago. We are watching Dora the Explorer, because I'm too tired to do anything else with him right now. Maybe I'll get a nap later. Howard is working with his cousin right now, but when he gets back he is planning to fill the ring on the top of the pool with air and fill the pool so that this afternoon the boys can play in the water. I know there will be lots to tell you all about this visit, I'll try to update often.

Things I am not happy about.

Feeling like 95 degrees is a relief from the heat!

BUGS! I can't seem to get rid of the bugs, I've cleaned and sprayed and squashed, and still the ants keep coming! We've had other bugs as well, even the dreaded roaches. (I think we are actually making progress but I've had to resort to bug sprays and unpacking things I didn't want unpacked.)

Terrible two's! Especially because he doesn't talk enough yet to tell me what he wants.

Diapers! We are trying to potty train Aidan, but since he doesn't say "potty" or anything else it's kind of frustrating for all of us, but I hate changing diapers so I have to knuckle down and do it.

Feeling tired so much of the time.

All the aches and pains that go with being older and overweight.

feel free to repost as a statement against homophobia

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Snagged from Purple Goddess. Who got it from Flidhais

Allen and Aidan updates.

Allen called yesterday, they are in Oregon and doing well. I guess they missed their flight and had to wait 6 hours for another. But everything is fine now. They are planning on leaving to come down here on either the 20th or the 21st. Hooray! I can't wait to see them.

Aidan update: He still calls all animals "Buddy", but he thinks our cats name is "Kitty". He says Buddy strangely too. Something like "Buh-DEE". He reminds me of Allen when he was this age, not the talking specifically, just in general. He will eat a lot on some days, and almost nothing on others. He is thin, but not skinny. He would always rather be outside than inside, no matter how hot, cold, wet, or windy. He hasn't figured out that rules are always rules, he seems to think that it's ok to do something later even though we told him not to before.

August visits.

Allen, Belinda and Xander are going to be in Oregon today! Actually I'm not sure it will be today, or tomorrow, but I like to think it's today. Later this month they will down here for a few days before going back to NYC.

I don't think I've seen Xander for nearly 4 years. I've seen pictures, of course, and I've talked to him on the phone several times over the years. I hope that he won't be too bored while he is here, and that we can figure out enough vegetarian food for everyone to be happy.

I am really worried that things won't be right during their visit. Our house is so small, it's summer and we can't get rid of the bugs. It's going to be hot, I don't know very much about vegetarian cooking, and I don't have much for a 6 year old to do.

I hope that Aidan will not cause too much of a problem, I know that Belinda doesn't want to have any kids, two year olds can be quite a pain for even the most tolerant of people. I haven't met her so I don't know he feelings about kids. She might love them, enjoy playing with them, be tolerant of every little quirk even the worst behaved child can have, but just doesn't feel the desire to have any of her own for her own reasons. Or she could be nervous around kids, quickly irritated by them and grossed out by the thought of grubby little hands touching her. I'm sure that she wouldn't be coming to visit if she really felt the latter, I'm sure that Allen has told her enough about us that she knows how things are around here. But I worry anyway. I want her visit to be good, I want to get to know her and to become friends with her. Especially if she is going to be in my son's life, and the life of my Grandson.

I want Xander to be happy while he is here as well. In fact I'm more worried about how he will feel about Aidan than anyone else. 6 year old boys and 2 year old boys don't have a lot in common. It can be quite annoying when someone keep bothering you, Aidan is good at that. (Oh, and I'm sure Xander won't like being called a baby. That's what Aidan says when he sees kids, to him they are all babies.) From what my Mom and Dad say Xander is a very nice and polite child, so I'm sure that he won't make a big fuss, but I don't want his visit to feel uncomfortable to him.

It will be okay I'm sure. I'm just looking forward to this visit so much! I want everything to be as perfect as possible. (Sigh)

"Everything will be fine. Everything - Will - Be - Fine." Whisper to myself.

Adagio Tea

This place has some really great teas. I like their paper filters which are kind of like tea bags but allow you to fill them with the tea you like best. Howard can take them to work and make a cup of tea without any mess. I would like to have this for here at home. I don't drink a lot of tea, but I might if it were easier. Howard like Herbal teas, I think I'd go for Green or Black myself. Anyway, if you get the chance check them out. Try their teas. I think you'll like it.

Family

I've been thinking a lot about family lately. I know that I am lucky to have a relatively close relationship with my family. I don't have a lot in common with my brother Cody, except that we both have young children. But we seem to get along pretty well for the most part. Mark and I are great friends. We think alike on several issues, but can debate without anger on those issues we differ on. My Mom is one of my best friends, and I love my Dad very much. I never had a sister though. I think I would have liked to have one.

Some Native American groups have interesting family relationships. Along with the blood relatives there are also family by choice. They call them, as close as possible a translation into English as we can, Sister/Brother/Mother/Father/Uncle/Aunt Friends. You treat these people the same way you would blood family. They have the same rights and responsibilities.

I've thought about finding a Sister Friend to help fill that place in my life. I know of two young ladies that I already feel very close to. In fact one of them might already fit that description, at least she used to. We used to go to the SCA together, and our background story was that we were sisters. We even told people at school that we were sisters. We were often told that there was a family resemblance between us. LOL I'm 45 and she is 30 so it's possible. Especially since my Mom had me when she was only 16, so she would have been only 31 when my sister was born.

The other woman I'd like as a Sister Friend also turned 30 recently. Like me she is the oldest, but she has sisters as well as brothers. She is strong and supportive, and a very loving woman. If I could design a perfect sister for me, I would want her to be as close as possible to my friend. One of the best things about these two women, is the fact that they are best friends.

California living.

This morning, when I took Howard to work, at 8:50 AM, the Walgreens sign, you know the kind that shows the time, the temp. and whatever specials are going on now, read 84 degrees! At 8:50! It's supposed to be around 104 or so later today. I don't do well in the heat, the cold hurts, but I can put on more cloths and it's fairly easy to warm up, but cooling off is not so easy. There are only so much you can do. We are told to conserve energy, or we might experience rolling brown outs. Have I mentioned that I don't want to live in California any more?

In other news, Allen is going to be on the West Coast next month! Xander and Belinda are going to be with him! I'm so excited! I can hardly wait. I'm not sure what we will do when they are here at my place, I'm not sure where we will put them. But we will work it all out. I just hope that they will have a good time and will enjoy their visit as much as I expect I will.

I'm still going through and sorting stuff here in the living room, after I'm done in here, I'll go through the boxes in Aidan's closet, maybe he will actually have space in there for his stuff someday! I really want out of this house, and out of this State, but in the mean time I have to make do with what I have.

I pre-ordered the new Harry Potter book months ago, I just got an e-mail saying that it's going to be delayed until the 20th. I was supposed to get it the 16th, so I could get it without all the hassle in the store. Now it looks like I should have just waited and gone through the lines anyway. I did save a few dollars with the pre-order, so maybe it's worth it after all. (sigh) Oh well, it's too late to do anything about it now. Next time I'll think about it a little bit more.

The room after a couple of days.

This is the way Aidan seems to like his room! Almost all his toys are on the floor.

Aidan's room

Here are a few pictures of Aidan's room when all the toys are put away. The closet is full of boxes, and other stuff.



This is his bed. The sheets are purple for the top sheet and the bottom sheet is black. The comforter has a fireman theme. There is a box under the toys, somewhere. It used to be one of those red recycle boxes. We can't recycle curbside here so we use it for toys.

At the head of his bed he has this big Mickey Mouse. These are his favorite trucks he likes to sleep with them. His little plastic wagon is under the dump truck. I didn't use a flash, so the pictures are all slightly yellow even with the fixes my picture program has. I have a couple of pictures of what his room looks like afterwards. Maybe I'll post them later. I'm using the new option for uploading pictures, I'll have to get used to it to figure out placement. But I think I like it, because I can do more than one at a time.

Toes, nose and throat.

My toes are doing much better. I still think the middle one is broken, but it's healing. It itches like crazy. I caught some kind of sinus/head cold/sickness from Howard. The pressure and the head ache it caused was awful, the post nasal drip down the back of my throat caused it to feel like I'd swallowed a hand full of razor blades. Thank goodness that only lasted 4 days! I'm almost back to normal now. Unfortunately I have to catch up on a weeks worth of dirty dishes. Howard is a wonderful man who took over child care and dinners while I was feeling sick. But he hates washing dishes even more than I do. So they stacked up. Hopefully I'll be able to stand at the sink long enough to do a drainer full a couple times a day until they get caught up. Then I can get back into the purging of things we really don't need. I'm a real pack rat, I'd like to end that habit.

Maybe I'll post some pictures of Aidan's room, when it was actually cleaned up. I haven't done any painting or other decorating in there yet, it's just his bed and his toys. But that's enough. LOL He has several large stuffed toys, lots of Large blocks, small stuffed toys, and cars and trucks in all sizes.