Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Separate and feeling lonely.
Most of the time I feel a need to keep these entries up beat and happy. Even when in reality I'm feeling kind of down, or depressed or lonely. Sometimes I feel so lonely and separate from the all the people who mean so much to me. Partly it's because I'm here in California, away from my family and some of my friends. But even before we moved here I sometimes felt very separate from them. Most of MY friends live far away from me, even when I lived in Salem they were far away. Cheryl is in Spokane, Tammy is in Portland but her family keeps her from me, Nicole, Solomon, Allen and Xander are in clear across the country. I've either lost contact with my friends or they have moved or both. I only knew that Solomon was getting married because of Nicole's blog and talking to Allen on the phone. We lost contact years ago. So today I'm feeling separated from the people I care about the most in this world and I feel lonely there is no one here for me to talk to or go visit or have come to see me. I'm feeling forgotten, I guess, and (except for Aidan) I feel unimportant to anyone. Don't worry about me though, these feelings pass fairly quickly. I think today it was brought on by reading blogs about babies and those from some of the friends who are so far away. I'll be fine tonight.