Why is it that people tend to think they know what is best for others? One son thinks the other should be doing "so much more" with his life. If he is happy, and those who are in his life are happy, why does it matter if he could do more? Right now I'm happy being a Stay-at-home-Mom, yes I have a BS degree and COULD be working somewhere, but if we can pay the bills, and are happy, why should I? Why would it matter to anyone else besides those directly affected?
If every conversation you have with someone involves them jumping down your throat over their perception of your feelings, wouldn't you tend to start to feel defensive around them? That person might feel that you were not very nice, because you react defensively and sometimes with anger to their constant prodding. What do people think they will achieve by picking on one little thing someone said, or did? Get over it already! Oh, and if people seem to think you are attacking them or accusing them of things, and it isn't just one person or it's more than one time, you might want to examine the way you say what you say.
It's okay to be honest, but you don't have to be mean. And if you want honesty don't get upset when people tell you things you didn't want to know. No one is perfect, no parent can learn everything in just a few short years. When both parents love a child with every fiber of their being, and their love for each other is just as great, and it's obvious to those watching, don't judge them based on looks, attitude toward others, or beliefs/feelings. A strong, stable, loving family is a rare thing these days, let them be.