Monday, September 20, 2004

People Pleaser, please don't rock the boat.

Yes that's me. I don't always say things I'd like to say, because I don't want to offend any one. I try to keep the peace, between the people I care about. I try very hard not to rock the boat.

Somehow I find myself drawn to situations where there is going to be conflict. I even go to message boards that are sure to have conflict. I might even participate if it's unlikely that anyone who knows me in real life will see it. I know that I care too much what other people think of me, I want people to think I'm nice - smart - creative - not at all bitch like, I'm working on that problem. I try not to discuss politics, because it might upset someone. I don't understand why I feel so afraid of upsetting things.

*I* don't stop liking people just because we have a difference of opinion. I read several Blogs even though their authors have stated political positions that are not my own. So why do I continue to worry that people will stop reading my blog if I state my opinions? Why do I even care if people read me? I'll continue to work on it, maybe some day you will read about what I think about some controversial issue.


Anonymous said...

I'd obviously read your entries anyway, even if I didn't agree with your politics.

I hate to talk about politics, too, although for a different reason: I don't want to try to change people's minds through dialogue because it reminds me of proselytizing, and I don't want anyone to try to change my mind, either.

I think it's good to try to bring positive things to situations, including a calming energy which helps heal the conflicts that occur. Standing aside saying nothing isn't doing that, but I do think sometimes you try to help people make peace.

Maybe you are afraid of upsetting things because you desperately want to upset things, to speak your mind, but are afraid you'll get too carried away with it.

the girl

Messed up Mama said...

I do want to shake things up sometimes. I think people need to be shaken once in a while. My fear is that after it is all said an done, people will think badly of me. That I will hurt somebody's feelings without meaning to. With people I don't know, or in an anonymous setting, such as a message board, comments on a blog, or even a less anonymous situation like a comment to a newspaper poll or a call-in radio show, I don't feel as much restrain. I don't want to sound stupid in those cases though, so I still might not speak out. It all comes down to how *I* think people perceive me.

WordsRock said...

I typically have more respect for people who will speak their mind and share their real feelings. With folks who never say what they are really thinking, I never really knows where I stand.

Plus, to me, it's helpful to hear what others think particularly if their opinion differs. It helps me look at situations from all directions and gives me more insight.


Messed up Mama said...

Thank you, Suzanne, for your comment. I agree that I respect those who speak out for their beliefs. Those who might not discuss but instead act on them too. I'm sure that other people aren't really all the differant from me, but there is still that nagging part of me that worries that they will not respect me. Maybe knowing that I have this disparity in myself, (or maybe it's distrust of others?)will help me get past it.

Tambra said...

Hey mama, I do know you personally. Yes you definitley are a people pleaser. But, you are all the things that you want people to think that you are. You are nice, smart, creative, and not at all bitchy like. I'm so glad that we have re-connected!!!