Partially because I have always worried what people thought of me, but also because I hate to rock the boat, I've kept things inside. I don't want to start any drama. I don't mind drama, at least when it's not my drama, I just don't want to be the reason it started. I also have a fear of rejection, I'm sure almost everyone has this fear at some level, that causes me to hold back the "I love you" and "You are important to me" messages I probably should have said. I don't always join the conversation, even when I have something to say.
I've thought about it, wondering why I feel so insecure, but I can't find a source. No event, or group of events that started this behavior. No one I know of has ever put me down for my thoughts, feelings, or lack of knowledge.
Thank you Nicole, I think I needed to know that someone thought I actually had some thoughts in my head. You are also an inspiration for some of this. Not just because you are a friend, but your openness in your own blog inspires me as well.