Trying out a new Blog set up.

I am trying a new blog design. I'm not really sure that I like it. I'll keep it for a little while and see how I feel about it in a couple of days. If you have any thoughts please feel free to post them in the comments.

In other news, well not really news I guess. LOL I've been playing with the Wii Fit Plus, it's a lot more fun then the EA active workouts are. The Hula Hoop game is a killer for my legs, my right leg more so than my left. I think my left leg is slightly shorter than my right. I can have the balance board measure my center of balance and it appears that I stand leaning to the left and on the heels of my feet rather than the balls. I don't know how to stand any differently. But the good news is I've lost 6 pounds since the last time I played with the game. I'm now about 313 instead of 319! That makes me feel better since I thought I'd only lost 2 in the 3 months that I have been working out. (I took 2 weeks off trying to adjust to having Aidan home all day.)

I'll probably switch back to the regular workouts soon. Because I think I need the structure of having a set workout with particular exorcises done at certain points and on certain days. I think I'll talk to my Doctor the next time I see her about all this. Maybe I'll ask to see a nutritionist. For some reason I'm more likely to do something if a Doctor or some other authority figure says I should.

Exercise

I've started a new Exercise program. I'm not doing the 6 week challenge this time. I started creating my own workouts. Monday everything was set at medium, I've been doing easy until now. It was about 30 minutes long and burned about 600 calories. It also kicked my butt! It took all day for me to recover. So I thought I'd try one of the preset workouts. I like the step aerobics that I've had n the workouts so far, so I choose a 30 minute workout that was supposed to be about 300 calories burned. It was also set to medium. I don't think I'll do that again for a little while. I'm still recovering today! I don't think I would have been able to finish it except that it was broken up into 3 ten minute "classes" so I could get my heart rate and breathing back to normal, and cool off some before I committed to the next part. Today was a rest day, thank goodness, but tomorrow I have to do another one. I'm not sure what I'll do yet, but ... I'm ready to do it. I have to do it, The Boy still needs me.

Doctor's appointment and other stuff.

It looks like I forgot to write about the Doctor's appointment. It wasn't very exciting really. We talked about The Boy's balance issues, it may actually be more like vertigo than a balance problem since he is within fairly normal range when standing on one leg or walking heel to toe. She doesn't think we need a neurologist to see him since we already have a diagnosis. But if at any time any of us feel we need more information, she will do a referral to one in Portland.

There are only 9 days of school left! My only worry is that The Boy and Little Day Care Girl act more like siblings everyday, and that means they fight nearly all the time. It's usually because she wants his attention and he just wants to be left alone, but sometimes he goes out of his way to do something to bug her.

I hope I can get back in the habit of taking pictures regularly. I enjoyed taking pictures and editing them, and it's nice to have photos of certain times during our lives. Once I got my big expensive camera I stopped taking pictures all the time. I think I'll get out the point and shoot and see if I'll take more snap shots if it's near by. I can use the other one for more planned pictures.

I ordered Messed Up Daddy's Father's Day gift Sunday. It will be here by the end of next week. There are 6 parts/things in this gift. I'd tell you about them but I don't want him to accidentally read this before we can give it to him. He's going to love it, and will be very surprised that I got it for him.

I got a DSi XL a week or so ago. Messed Up Daddy kept suggesting I get it and the cooking program I've seen advertised and mentioned that I wanted. So we were at Best Buy and we looked at all the DSi systems and decided that the XL was the best one for me. The Boy likes to play it too, we got a game just for him because eventually we plan to give him a DSi of his own. I don't know when for sure, but maybe in the next couple of months. Or, if things go badly financially, it might be at Christmas or for his birthday.

I finished the 6 week challenge last week, I missed a few workouts which were added to the end of the challenge. I think I'll start a new one on Monday, which will be the 7th. I don't know if I'll go for the next level yet or not. I did get down to 316 pounds on the last day. So it seems I lost 3 pounds in those 6 weeks. I guess I'm not eating small enough servings or I'm still eating too much sugar or fat or both. I'm working on that all the time, eating smaller servings and cutting back on the processed sugar and fatty meats. I will, eventually, get down to my goal weight of 145 pound. It may take me years, but I'll do it. I have to take it slow, because I'll start to feel deprived and end up bingeing and going wild for junk food.

The Boy's updates.

We had a call from the Doctors office saying that The Boy's MRI is normal. I've talked to other Moms with kids who have mild CP, and they all say that it took a neurologist to see the damage. So I guess after we talk to the Doctor on the 24th we'll see if she will give us a referral to see one.

Some days his tremors are much more pronounced than other days. Yesterday for example, we were watching a movie on TV and he had three shaking spells in a row. It's like he is cold and shivering from head to toe, actually it's more like toe to head as it seems to move upward sometimes.

He also had a harder time talking than normal as well. When that happens he pauses for a few seconds like he's searching for a word, but I think that he is trying to find a way to get the word out rather than finding the word itself.

We are going to discuss his balance problems, and see if there is something we can do to help him there. He's afraid he will fall off his bike or his scooter because he feels off balance when he is on them. He says he feels off balance when he climbs up his ladder on his bunk bed, and sometimes when he is walking down stairs. He will sometimes tell people he is afraid of heights because he feels off balance going up ladders and such.

Eventually we need to get him in to see an optometrist, to check the tracking problem and see if there is anything else we should be aware of. Then, I hope, we will be done with Doctors for a while.

My workouts.

I've missed 2 workouts so far in this 6 week challenge. I missed Monday because of going for The Boy's MRI. I don't feel too bad about it, since we walked about 3 miles that day. I also missed one when we took The Boy to his last Doctors appointment. I was going to make it up and do a workout on one of my rest days, but that weekend I was sick, and the longer I don't do it, the easier it is not to do it.

Anyway, I think that the balance board weighed me at a lower weight the first time, because I didn't have the extenders on the little feet. We have carpet, a low shag with a rug over it. I didn't think that the carpet and rug were thick enough to make a difference, but once I added the extenders I weighed in at the same weight as the bathroom scale. I'm at 315 now, I weighed myself for 3 days in a row and got the same weight. So I'm fairly sure I'm finally down a couple of pounds, for a total of 5 so far. I'm working on eating less, for example: I used to eat 5 tacos, now I eat 2. It took quite a while to reduce that far, but now I'm full with less. I'm looking into some lower sugar treats that I can either make myself or find pre-made at the store. I think that lowering my sugar intake will be harder to do than reducing the amount of food I eat was. I'll figure it out eventually. At least I can see some progress, finally.

MRI complete.

Today was The Boy's MRI. He did fairly well. We need to remember that it takes nearly twice as long for medication to take effect with him than expected. He also needs twice as much. We tested the pills the Doctor gave us to calm him Saturday as she directed. One pill had no effect at all. So today, an hour before the MRI was scheduled for, we gave him two pills. Not much happened until it was over, walking to the bus stop was ... interesting. He was kind of floppy, and was a bit unsteady on his feet. A couple of hours later he was back to his normal self.

We won't find out anything about it until the 24th. His Doctor didn't have any other time open before that. We did get a print of his MRI for him to keep, however. I don't know anything about what it should look like, so I can't even give myself a hint about what it shows. I need to figure out how to make a smaller print, maybe cut it down to only one of the views. Then we will put it in a frame and hang it on his wall. He's probably the only kid we know who has a picture of his brain. LOL

He had a hard time keeping completely still. I think he was stressed out, and his head seemed to jerk, and he couldn't seem to keep his mouth still. However he did try very hard to be as still as possible. And they did get the scans they wanted. We went to Panda Express for dinner, as a treat for taking the pills without argument (he really hates to take medication), and for trying so hard to be still.

If I figure out how to copy the MRI images we have I'll post them. If I don't ... I guess you will just have to wait until we talk to the Doctor about them.

Updates

The Boy

The Boy has a MRI scheduled for Monday morning. He isn't sure he wants to do it, he says that he won't do it, but he said the same thing about the testing he had at the CDRC. We had his IEP meeting yesterday. He is still on level for reading, but seems to be starting to have trouble. He can read a story of nearly any length at grade level, but he can't always tell you about what it is he just read when the story is longer than a couple of paragraphs. He is doing okay in math, he's behind a little but his teacher thinks he can do better he just has a problem demonstrating that he can do it. He still needs social support to understand non-verbal cues, how to join a group that is already playing, and a few other things other kids seem to know. He is going to stay in his classroom next year. Now that we know more about what kinds of problems he is working with we can work out things that will help him with things, and hopefully in a year or two he can join a mainstream class with just a few adaptations. They agree with the CDRC's recommendation that we look into a non-school related OT. I'll have to call insurance and see how much they will cover and see what we can do.

Weight Loss

Monday was the begging of my third week doing the 6 week challenge. I think there is something wrong with the way the balance board weighs me. Two weeks ago it said that I weighed 301 pounds, on Monday it said that I weighed 317 pounds. I know that a pound or so might have been because I'd just finished my workout, and there might have been some swelling in my muscles because of that. There might also be a pound or two extra due to water retention or bloating. But I don't think I can account for 16 pounds that way. Maybe I didn't do it right the first time, since my bathroom scale was about that far off the first weigh in. I guess I should weigh myself with the bathroom scale again and see where it puts me.

I'm feeling kind of bummed. I'm working out 4 days a week, about 20 to 45 minutes a day, it's still a little bit difficult for me, it gets my pulse racing and I sweat quite a bit, I haven't really changed my eating habits much since I started working out and what I've done has been to reduce calories. So you would think I'd see at least a few pounds lost. Messed Up Daddy has been very sweet about it all, he has encouraged me to work out when I've felt less than excited about it, and he's listened to me when I've complained and supported me through this as well. He keeps reminding me that I was such a couch potato before I started this that I had very minimal muscle tone, so maybe it's all gained muscle that is keeping me from loosing weight. Maybe I've lost some pounds of fat, but gained more pounds of muscle. I do know that my hips are a little slimmer, and my upper thighs are smoother.

EA Active More Workouts.

Today was my second day using the More Workouts "game". I used the balance board, so yesterday I imported my avatar from the other one and it had me weigh in. I think I like the balance board better than my bathroom scale, because it says I weigh 301 pounds while my scale says I weigh 317 pounds.

Anyway, the workout was fairly hard, both days. My stomach muscles are not used to curl ups or curl punches, so that's an area that is feeling a bit sore right now. My legs, well my thighs anyway, are sore too. Squats and lunges and a new obstacle course with running and some other things worked them out more than they are used to. I'm liking this new work out, it has better warm up routines and cool down routines with stretching. It's a 6 week challenge so we will see how it goes. I'm still on the lowest level.

Messed Up Daddy says that if I will get up an hour earlier he will work out with me. I'm not sure he's really ready to commit to it yet, and I don't want to give up my much needed sleep. We will see if he will change his mind and work out with me anyway.

Where I am in my battle with my weight.

Okay, so Monday was my last day of my third 30 day challenge. Things are getting easier, I'm not so out of breath when I walk up my stairs. I'm making it through the exercises quicker and with less breathing problems. I weighed myself Tuesday and I weighed 320 pounds, so that's 2 pounds less than last week, and 6 pounds less than when I got the scale.

I'm thinking about what I'm going to do next. I got the More Workouts from EA Active, it has some ab workouts and I've heard that the warm up and cool down exercises are better than the one I've been doing. So I think I'll start a 6 week challenge either Sunday or Monday. I want to add an afternoon workout as well, but I'm not sure I'll be able to stick with it. I want to do the Wii fit Plus games with the kids, because they are a workout, and the kids and play with me. I'm just not sure I'll actually do it. It's hard for me to change my schedule for anything, and if it's something I'm not really excited about, it's much easier to find a reason not to do it. I'll keep you informed on how that works out.

After the evaluation.

I'd hoped that we would have some answers after The Boy's evaluation. We don't. We do have some ideas, a tentative diagnoses of Cerebral Palsy, a very MILD case. It effects his mouth, so he drools. It effects the way he puts words together so he seems to be a bit behind in the way he communicates. It effects the way his body moves, so he's a bit awkward when he runs. It effects his hand-eye co-ordination so catching a ball is difficult for him and it effects his hands and fingers so his writing is and will probably always will be difficult.

We need to get a MRI to find out more and to clarify for sure that it's C.P. and not something else. We have an appointment with his Doctor for April 23rd, we will discus the reports from all the specialists who saw The Boy on Wednesday and she will then refer us to the MRI clinic. Hopefully it will only be a day or two from his appointment with his Doctor. And then we wait for the results to be sent to the Doctor, who will call us to make an appointment to discuss the results. From there I don't know what we will do. I'm not sure of treatments or therapies or if he would be a good candidate for any of them. I do know that it will help his school to help him so he can find the ways he learns best.

There is a medication that the Developmental Pediatrician recommended that would help with the drooling. It limits the amount of fluid his body produces. So less spit, less tears, less liquid in his intestines. Which also means that he might have severe dry mouth and eyes, not be able to cry tears, sweat less and it could cause constipation as well. I'm kind of torn about the medication, it would make things at school easier for him if he didn't drool. But the thought of medicating him twice a day ... not a good thought for me. The side effects could be a problem, and he doesn't take medications well. Maybe we will let him know it's available to him and when he's ready he can choose for himself.

Right now I'm feeling a little ... scared, frustrated, in a hurry to find answers, happy we have some kind of answer, and yet unhappy that it isn't THE answer. This boy is so important to me, more than I thought possible. Not more than my other boys, including my Grandson, but just as important in a different way. Probably because I'm older, and I think I'm more knowledgeable about things, I feel I'm doing a better job of being a Mother this time around. I don't think I was a bad Mom before, just young and inexperienced in life.

So, we haven't received our copy of the report, I'll post what that says or at least how I understand it when I've had a chance to read it. I may have misunderstood what the Doctor and the Social Worker said.

Messed Up Daddy doesn't want to believe that it could be C.P., I think he envisions someone who has Spastic C.P. and perhaps has some retardation, and he can't reconcile that with who The Boy is. He will have to learn the different types of C.P. and how they effect the person who has it. C.P. does not mean retardation, it is brain damage but that doesn't always affect learning and mental ability.

I'll stop rambling now. I'll be starting a new exercise session in a couple of days. I got 2 new "games" for the Wii, the Wii Fit Plus with balance board, and EA Active More Workouts. I think I'll do the More Workouts, it has a 6 week challenge, and do the Wii Fit Plus in the afternoons and on rest days because it's more like playing and the kids can do it with me. I'll post more later about everything.

The first day of the last week.

I forgot to weigh myself on Saturday, the last day of the third week like I planned to do. I finally got around to doing it today. I weighed myself after my workout and after I had a sandwich for lunch. I now weigh 322, which is 2 pounds more than I weighed last week. It's kind of discouraging, I know I don't eat as well as I should, but I AM eating less and I'm eating better than I used to even a month ago. I know it takes time to loose the weight, I just didn't expect to keep gaining. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to stop exercising or working on what I eat and how I prepare it. It would be nice to have a number that shows that I'm actually doing something that makes a difference. I tell myself that I'm building muscle and muscle weighs more than fat, so maybe I've actually lost a few pounds of fat and the gain is muscle. I REALLY hope I'm right.

Evaluation

We finally got an appointment for The Boy up in Portland at Dornbecker Children's hospital for an evaluation. I'm not sure what all will be done, but we will be there for about 6 hours, and he will see different specialists. My Mom is coming down to take us up there, which works out since she was able to get an appointment for some tests she needs. Hers are at the same hospital one floor up and near the end of the time we expect to spend with The Boy's appointments.

My concerns are:

• He drools nearly all the time. He says that he isn't aware of it when it's happening.
• He's still behind other kids in the way he communicates, to me it seems like he's 6 months to a year behind. The kinds of things he talks about, what he is interested in, and the way he behaves with other kids is part of this.
• He runs awkwardly, can't really catch a ball, and doesn't really draw or color well.
• Sometimes, when he is stressed or tired his head shakes and he blinks his eyes more than usual.
• He over reacts, emotionally, to some things, and under reacts to others. Mostly over reacts.
• He is unaware of basic social cues, he doesn't understand about personal space, even though we have been talking to him about it for years.
• He has a very big imagination, and sometimes it seems that he forgets that he isn't Lava Girl or someone from some other movie or TV show. (Usually girls.) He doesn't understand why people might feel uncomfortable with that when dealing with him.

So, we are hoping that they can help us figure out what is happening, and if there is a medical reason for any of it. We need to know so we can help him work with whatever is happening so he can do as well as possible in school and in his social life. He's a good kid, he is fun to be with, he's usually well behaved, and he's learning to read in leaps and bounds.

Half way through. Day 14 of 30.

Today was the half way point, according to the program, in my 30 day challenge. I guess that's because day 30 will be a rest day and tomorrow is a rest day. Anyway, it was a good work out. I'm starting to enjoy it most of the time. Except for squats and some lunges, and that's because my knees hurt when I do them. Actually it's not my knees exactly, because it's not the joint, it's just above my knees. I'm hoping that will stop as I get in better shape.

I weighed myself this morning, after my workout. I've gained back the 4 pounds I lost last week. I don't know why.

I started a food journal to keep track of what I'm eating, and since I'll probably be the only one to see it, I have been very honest about what I eat. The next step will be to actually measure it out. I've done pretty well keeping the sweets to a minimum without feeling deprived, and not having too much fatty food. I'm only eating when I'm hungry, not just when it's expected. For example, yesterday I didn't eat dinner with the kids because I was still full from snack. I ate my dinner a couple of hours later. I do need to increase our vegetable intake, neither of the kids like veggies except for corn so that might make it harder but I'll just have to try.

Day 10/30.

I really didn't feel like working out today. My stomach felt ... heavy is the best way I can describe it. I'm tired, I feel like I should sleep another couple of hours. I pushed through thanks mainly to Howard's support. I had a long run near the end, and felt like I was going to throw up once I finished it. After resting, taking a shower and eating some lunch I feel much better now. It might have been because I was hungry even though I didn't think I was, but if I eat before I work out I feel uncomfortable, over stuffed and it causes my breathing to be restricted during some exercises. Maybe I drank too much water at the wrong time. All I know for sure is that I really hope I don't ever feel that way ever again.

I just finished the first week of the second 30 day challenge. I weighted myself and I'm 4 pounds lighter than I was when I got the scale. I've noticed one little change, when I sit in chairs with arms on them I don't ooze through the spaces any more. I just barely fit, but I can sit down without squeezing myself in and I can stand up without prying myself out or lifting my chair up on my hips and thighs like I used to do! Progress is encouraging.

I think I'll either get books or the second EA Active workout, as a reward for finishing my second 30 day challenge. I'll have to decide which I want more when the time comes. I need a lighter cooking cook book, and I've been reading the Percy Jackson books, I have 1, 2, and 4 I need to get 3 and 5 some day soon. Oh heck, maybe I'll get the books AND the exercise game at the same time. :)

I got a bathroom scale the other day. I won't tell you how much I weigh, but it's quite a bit more than I thought it would be. It's more than the last time I remember having it taken at the Doctor's office. So I need to adjust the amount of weight I need to loose, by about 30 pounds.

What this means to me is that I was quite a bit heavier than I thought when I started to eat less fried foods and reduce the sugar I eat. I can now wear cloths I couldn't get into a before we moved here, so that's 3 years. I still believe I've lost about 20 pounds since I started to reduce the serving sizes back then. I should be loosing even more because of exercising regularly. I guess I might have gained a little because of muscle weighs more than fat. I know that I've gained some muscle in my legs and arms mostly. Howard says that my bottom is less jiggly and more muscular, so that would make a difference.

I started another 30 day challenge on the seventh. I decided that I needed to do it on easy again, because it still gets my heart beating fast and hard, and sometimes breathing gets kind of labored. It IS easier now than it was the first few days of the last one, so it's working. I'm in better shape now, I feel better too. I have a long way to go, even longer than I thought, but I'm determined to get it done.

Weight loss and exorcise.

I've had a slight bit of success loosing weight by cutting back on the portion sizes I eat, and eating less fried and sugary food. I'd guess I've lost about 10-15 pounds over the last couple of years. Now I think it's time that I actually do some scheduled exorcise.

Today was my 5th day using EA Active for the Wii. (2 days working out, 1 rest day and 2 days working out)

I think I can keep this up for a while. I hope I don't find something else to distract me from working out, like I've done in the past. The easy level is almost too hard for me, but I'm getting through it. I have to take out the jumping exorcises, so I don't bother my downstairs neighbors. The running is really hard for me, I get out of breath really easy. But, so far anyway, I have been able to push on through with only a minute or two pause to get my breath back. The last couple of workouts seemed much easier than the first two, I still have one more work out to do to have done all of the variations. We'll see how I do when I do the first two again.

Howard says that he can tell that I'm getting more toned, especially my legs. I don't see it or feel it yet, but I like that he says he can. He tells me how well I'm doing and encourages me to run just a little bit farther before I stop to breath. When I get the second player equipment, I'm going to get him to workout with me.

Wii Sports came with the Wii, so we have been playing that some too. Bowling, and golf are my favorites, tennis is okay, but I have a problem with baseball and boxing is a real work out. So all of us do some active playing, and we have a lot of fun together.

Hot Wings, peanut brittle, and a scarf.

I've recently learned how to make peanut brittle, well actually it was pecan brittle. I've made one batch, I poured it too thick, so it was kind of hard to eat. I put in too much salt too, but that was okay. I'm planning to make another batch, maybe with walnuts or almonds or pecans again, this time I'll be really careful with the salt and try to make it thin enough to eat properly.

Messed Up Daddy made some Hot Wings for me over the week-end. I LOVE hot wings! They are actually very easy to make. I like the traditional recipe, with a hot sauce like Frank's or something. It needs to be spicy and taste of vinegar. But I also like some not so traditional flavors too. Tabasco has a flavor called Sweet and Spicy that works well and tastes great. I think I could eat Hot Wings nearly every day of the week.

When I get my next pay check, I'm going to go get some green and yellow yarn. I plan to make The Boy a scarf some time soon. It will be half Ducks and half Beavers, because I'm a Duck lover and Messed Up Daddy loves the Beavers. That way he can display colors of which ever team he feels strongest about that day. I'll try to post pictures when I get it finished. I might try to put OSU on one end and U of O on the other. We will see what happens.

50th birthday party.

I turned 50 on October 16. My family, well all of them that could anyway, took me to dinner on the 18th to celebrate. One of my best friends and her children were there too, helping to make the day special. We had a great time visiting and catching up with the comings and goings in each others lives. My niece and her family were having some trouble getting the people they bought their house from to move out. So they weren't feeling very festive, but they came and I think they had a good time anyway.

Here are some pictures the Howard took during our dinner. We got trainer chop sticks for the kids, and some dollar tree whistles for them as well.

Traditional family roles.

I may have mentioned before that I feel at conflict with myself sometimes. On the one hand, I'm very much an old fashioned wife and mother. I like stay at home with the kids, I like knitting, sewing, cooking and even feel a bit of pride when I manage to keep the house clean for several days at a time. I like planning things for my family, and bringing it off well.

On the other hand I also enjoy working, or going to school. Maybe because the kinds of jobs I'd be doing would revolve around kids and families. I like being out and about, spending time with other adults, and making money.

I think I've found a good compromise, at least for now, watching kids in my home. I can usually find the time to do the things I like to do, and still make money. Being a good housekeeper is harder to work out, because I feel that my JOB is watching the kids not cleaning the house. Right now I work for 11 hours 5 days a week. I do the big cleaning on week-ends, and do the daily dishes in the morning between waking up to get The Boy to school and walking out the door to get him on the bus. Sometimes I do some dishes or other cleaning while the girl I babysit is napping. I can knit and watch her, but sewing has to wait until the week-end because it's kind of noisy and demands more attention than I'd like to take away from watching her.

My husband and I are equals in our marriage. We are not the same, however. Our talents and educations differ and that helps determine our roles. I'm much better at watching the kids, cleaning, and other domestic things, he is better at things that need more physical abilities, like moving the furniture, and dealing with tools. I deal with the people stuff, he deals with the mechanical stuff. He fixes our computers, I call and deal with people about bills or other problems. I'm sure I could make it without him, I just wouldn't like it as much. I'm sure he could make it without me, he just wouldn't like it as much either.

We seem to have fallen into more traditional gender roles. It's not because either of us thinks that's the way it should be, but because that's the best way to use our individual talents and strengths. There are people who seem to feel that I'm not a very good feminist because I do more of the old fashioned wifely things. Or that my husband is a male chauvinist because I don't work out side the home. Neither is true. I'm learning that what other people think doesn't really matter. It's been a hard lesson for me to learn. I have to keep reminding myself of some advice my Grandmother gave me, "Do what makes you happy, because at least one person will be happy. Trying to do things just to make other people happy doesn't always work." I'm trying to remember that as long as our family is happy it doesn't matter what other people think.